I never want to fall asleep tonight.
After the dream I had in the afternoon still lingers in my mind.
I’m feeling drowsy, but yet, I force myself to not close my eyes. I don’t want to see the horrendous side of things again. I may not experience it in reality… yet (I won’t be gambling with the word ‘fate’), but in my dreams, things seemed so real and if as if I’m physically being there. Transformation of place in an instance has been experienced, emotions well felt, and the object seems so real… the mansion, the bed, the room and even people walking and talking in my dreams.
What the heck, I am supposed to be done with the preparation for Dr. Jaga’s presentation tomorrow. I have a choice of deferring it to next Friday or present it tomorrow. Well, what I thought of is that I should finish my preparation today and not present it tomorrow but present it next Friday. Ah well, it’s just another lazy me speaking and is as if I have a choice of not being lazy. Well, I do, but not at this point of time when I’m still on ‘honeymoon’… a week without assignments. Not just yet, I have two assignments due on the 9th of May, but somehow, a part of me thinks that confidence speaks it all. However, what forms in my mind is that without knowing what a person is supposed to do, how can confidence come along?
I don’t want to sleep tonight… I’m just being paranoid of things… of things which are about to happen, which are already happening, and which already happened in life. I’m afraid of history reread… rewriting itself in my life… refocusing on what I least expected it to. We are expected to learn from our past history, but why am I being paranoid when I should face it with full optimism and confidence? Does the word ‘paranoia’ occurs for now and goes away when the tomorrow comes? How will it ever go away once the feeling of being paranoid has already blended into my everyday life? Not like I can stop myself from being paranoid. Maybe I can or maybe I should and that if I would, what makes me?
Again, illogical thoughts for the night… at the end of the day, I do hope I’m not suffering from schizophrenia… somebody shoot me!!
2 comments:
dreams are signs/reflections of what would happen in future...
I disagree with anonymous. I dreamt last night I was publicly flogged. Don't see how that's gonna happen any time soon. Speaking of dreams, i find it highly ironic that about the same time you posted this, I posted one of my own, also about dreams. Unlike yours, the parallels drawn from my dream are already happening.
My dear, have you forgotten what He said? "Worry not about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries of its own". Remember that always. God's plan for you is perfect. Nothing short of that. No matter what happens, He will always be there.
So close your eyes, and know that when you sleep, there will be four angels watching over you. Two of which are your own, and two of which are mine (must give them something to do anyways) :)
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