Monday, December 18, 2006

Cigarette Waste Facts

For ya'll smokers out there...

Cigarette Waste Facts

Ten things you should know about cigarette butt litter:

1. Cigarette butt litter is the world’s greatest environmental litter problem

2. Globally approximately 5.2 trillion cigarettes are manufactured every year. In developed countries (or in markets where indoor smoking bans have been introduced) almost 1 in 3 cigarette butts end up as litter.

3. In most Western countries, cigarette butt litter accounts for around 50% of all litter.

4. Cigarette butt litter dramatically increases where indoor smoking bans are implemented.

5. In Australia, NSW smokers throw away enough butts to fill 7 Olympic swimming pools. Up to 350,000 butts end up in Port Phillip Bay, Victoria and waterways every day.

6. It can take up to 12 years for a cigarette butt to break down.

7. Cigarette butts can leach chemicals such as cadmium, lead and arsenic into our marine environment within an hour of contact with water.

8. Cigarette butts have been found in the stomachs of fish, whales, birds and other marine animals which leads to ingestion of hazardous chemicals and digestive blockages.

9. Smokers in many countries can be fined for flicking a lit cigarette.

10. And the final and most important thing to know about cigarette butt litter is: Only smokers can stop cigarette butt litter. We need to educate them that butts are litter, and provide a positive alternative to littering.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

women's right = sexual rights?

I found this article when i was using 'stumble' on Mozilla Firefox. Interesting, at the same time, it makes me think alot about women's right movement. Liberation of women to be part of the work force - does this mean prostitution should be seen as a reborn from centuries of being the oldest profession? Poll dancers, strippers, the coming back of raunch culture that left room for dispute over the definition of women's movement.

Read through this article and leave a comment to let me know what you think.

Why did the sex doll become the ideal?
http://www.thefirstpost.co.uk/index.php?menuID=1&subID=871

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Brain Lateralization Test Results
Right Brain (50%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain.
Left Brain (46%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain
Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

22nd August 2002, Protest on Bush in Portland, Oregon.

Eye of the Storm
http://vidsearch.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=912891448

The day when democracy failed to play its part in a protest. When one only trust the dominant side of a story without considering the other... that is when we get tricked into thinking the state is always right about the information we get in the media.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Emo

I truthfully need someone badly whom i can talk sense with. I need someone whom i can just sit down with for hours and hours just deliberating on a certain issue of interest. At the mean time, i have only two person, the person whom i'm dating and someone i recently met online who's currently working in Clayton. I'm glad arguments are always built from there and it tends to snowball it down to the next day.

This is the time when i start missing Mickey, Zeck, Yasir, Eva, Sze Hsiong, Jing Huai, Eddie G, Fikri and Narin. I want them to be close to me, to have me speak of my experiences and observations. To deliberate further on issues they are facing as well as what i'm facing. I'm surrounded with shallow people - people who only talks about booze, party, clubs and more booze. People who drinks and dance in search for happiness as they see life as a dull adventure to live with. I dream to have someone educate me with their own philosophy of life and not just through text books. I don't need someone to regurgitate what they learn in books similar to the ones needed in Uni. I want someone to educate me with their life experiences - in other words, someone who can constantly advice me to take the right path of life by taking their experiences as a mistake in need for corrections.

I want my life back (a deliberative one)... i want to sit at a corner reading till the break of dawn. I want to be able to make sense of this life and let every loneliness of every hour to be part of an indepth searching time. I'm definately traveling around Australia in search of my long forgotten interest and in hope for searching a new hobby.


Thursday, September 14, 2006

Art

The nicest things in life is to have a wonderful picture taken down and make it tell you stories which you have never heard in life. As a saying goes 'a picture says a thousand words', but, how could we interpret the message spoken to us? That's the beauty of pictures, it never fails to make one's mind think of what a picture, a photograph or a painting portrays. An art is never dead, an art is never silly and, most importantly, an art gives way to various interpretations and there should be no right or wrong.

I found this website amazing and the artist's really talented. Hope that you'll enjoy it as much as i did. Each photography has its story to tell... what does it remind you of?

http://www.kennethparker.com/

Friday, September 01, 2006

Lame Pick Up Line

Fikri... i know you are going to like my lameless in this pick up line that i've created.

Lame pick up line: Hi, do you love mushrooms? Lets get a room and get mushy!

You have to agree that it's a classic!!!!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Righteous Path

After listening to the sufferings that my brother is going through, i just wish i could get on the next flight and go home to be with him, to be his supporter and his strength. It's hard to leave him to his own transition period and not being able to hear him speak of his concerns and sufferings. I wish him all the best in changing his path and learning the way to become a respectable person and also learning to true meaning of self-righteousness.

He looked at himself in the mirror,
Afraid of his own reflection,
The wild beast unfolded won over his own determination,
He fought his fears but failed to the world of evilness.

Tell him, someone, please tell him,
What’s right or wrong as he needs to know,
No longer does he stand understanding the works of righteousness,
But the devil in him showed him the path of evil doings and eternal sufferings.

Stood from a distance,
He knew something was not right,
He knew he needed to change in order to earn his sanity,
He needed to learn the truth of life in order to embrace eternity.

The journey of life which he suffered,
Blinded him from the truth of ‘love’,
The desires of anger blinded him from happiness,
Sadness lingered in his world with an urge for salvation.

Passive thoughts drowning his righteous judgment,
Never once did he listen to the voice of concernment,
He allowed the devil to mislead from where he wants to be,
Never to walk on the path of right deeds and doings.

An angel called to him one fateful night,
To turn back his ways and never look back,
Tomorrow shows of precious moments and happiness,
It’s the history of the past that should be burnt from his heart.

Down the line he saw a light,
A light which shined through his darkest hour,
With the voice of an angel telling him to learn,
To learn how to live a life he wanted for the longest time.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Thought of the Day


Favorite quote: Friends are part of your imagination, true friends shine through that barrier and resolve in basic reality and leaves your imaginations unfold.

I do not even know who my allies are and you are asking me who are my friends?

My Philosophy of Freedom

Man is born free, and everywhere he is in shackles. – Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Time and time again, I’ve asked myself the question of ‘ultimate freedom’. Freedom, the word that only exists in one’s mind but never fully comprehend the meaning or definition to that very word.

Time and time again I tried finding a way to explain my philosophy of ‘freedom’ but ended up being misunderstood. Freedom to me doesn’t exist the way I thought it will exist. Freedom to me is an illusion that needs to be lived within.

I tried hard never to use the word ‘freedom’ liberally in my everyday conversation. Liberality and freedom are two very different words and both hold ultimate meanings which one can only comprehend after experiencing them. You may not like my way of defining both terms, but I hold liable to my own opinions.

Liberality, to me, is the ability to choose what one can, should, would, can’t, shouldn’t or wouldn’t do. Freedom, to me, is something where one can only earn it when one’s heart has stopped beating, mind has ceased to think, soul has been taken away from the body, and spirit has left the body for eternity. Freedom, then, comes with no consequences; no guilt; no obstacles; no choices; and with no directions.

We hold on to various grudges in life in order to understand how feelings are generated through good and bad experiences. The malicious attitude we hold in order to see our own happiness in the eyes of the one we wish to hurt. One can argue that it is the freedom of the mind, body and soul to feel that way. Well, we always have the choice to either be malicious in everyway or just be genuine. Now, how can that be free? We are obliged to a universal rule, which is the rule of choice. When we are obliged to a certain rule, freedom doesn’t come into play then. We might have the ‘freedom’ to choose, but again, we are chained with choices of either… or. My point is that besides of using the word ‘freedom’, I choose to use the word ‘liberation’.

We need to conform ourselves to various ‘rule’ in life. The ‘rule’ of how to live life; the ‘rule’ of how to think, learn and educate; the ‘rule’ of how to differentiate between right and wrong; and the ‘rule’ of choosing the ones of the right than of the wrong. We are never free from the life of changes; of choices; of conformation; and of subjection. It’s a life cycle process where one can never escape the fundamentals of it. I might say, we have the liberation to choose the way we want to live or consume various discourses but never free from the ‘rule of choice’.

{Try getting out to an open field, sleep on the grass and make sure you are in an immobile position for as long as you want. Whatever you do, do not think. Keep a blank mind. All you are allowed to do is to inhale and exhale… now you get to enjoy the moment of being free}

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The color of his eyes,
Told me the sadness he’s still keeping inside.
He denied reality before him,
And couldn’t put his fantasies aside.

He fought war for freedom of his own soul,
He bare with temptation to fend off his foes.
He came back from sea to be able to love again,
But found himself in a fairy tale all over again.

Believing that love was the answer in search for freedom,
What was once beautiful has now became rotten,
A smile which portrayed meaning of unconditional love,
Conditional as it could get,
Love serves no purpose on earth.

He believes true love was always the answer,
He believes freedom was at the edge of every war.
What he believed now shattered before him,
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
When tomorrow comes, it would be a memory at its last.

Everything he needed became an illusion,
Everything that he wanted has become conditional.
What he needs was his life back and his love waiting,
But all he sees was his tomorrow has forsaken his eternity.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

I've been thinking a lot about this statement while researching on why the Treaty of Westphalia does not serve its purpose in the new era.

"In matters of state, he who has the power often has the right, and he who is weak can only with difficulty keep from being wrong in the opinion of the majority of the world"

Friday, May 26, 2006

Will there ever be a song...

Is there a song?
A song at all to calm my soul,
My mind, my body, my eternal beating heart,
My shadows of sadness, of pain, of suffering and tears.
Will there be a song?
A song at all,
Of calming melody and of mesmerizing rhythm?

Is there a song,

A song at all?
That brings me back memories of yesterday,
Of tomorrow, of today and of the after life,
Of speechless moments, of crying sadness,
Of troubled storms and of weakening hearts…

Is there a song,

A song at all?
To be heard on a summer’s day,
On a winter’s night,
On a spring afternoon,
And during the night of a pale moonlight.

Is there a song,

A song at all?
Of the dying soul,
Of the crying wolves,
Of eternal flame,
Of great blue skies,
And of solemn moments.

Is there not a song,

A song at all?
Of eastern wars,
Of homeless children,
Of the deaf and the mute,
Of the crying soldier,
Of the mind of the weak,
And of the treacherous smile.

Is there not a song,

A song at all?
Of the one I use to love,
Of the one who loves me most,
Of roses and other flowers,
Of cashmeres and fur coats,
Of life after death,
Down to the bottom of every grave.

Is there not a song,

A song at all?
That makes the old think of the young,
That makes the young think of anything at all,
That makes the eagles sore,
That makes the wolves howl,
That calms the thunderous storm,
That calms eternity at all.

I want a song that reminds me of the poor,
Of the endless war,
Of nature forbidden in Eden,
For the soul of eternal shame.
I just want a song,
That reminds me of you,
Of everyday,
And of every smile you gave,
And of every statement you make.
I want a song that feels my heart with joy,
And calms the worrier of every household.
A song to prove a love worth pursuing,
A life worth enjoying,
And eternity worth living in.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Poem of Death

Another night; another troubled mind. Don't ask me why i wrote this, it just flow out naturally.

Meet me at the sight of death,
Before the time comes,
We’ll make sure we are dead,
A slow, long dance,
Before the pale moonlight,
A cry of madness within your soul,
Solace we seek in each other’s embrace.

Look onto the earth of treachery,
How we long for peace at the moment.
Look into the eyes of a wild beast,
How we long silence to come in an instant.

Death, a step to eternity,
Before us, a ball of fire resurrected our soul,
Call my name before you step into judgment,
Don’t leave me crying in a corner.

Towards the light now love,
Forgive my sins.
Don’t look back to be searched by me,
As I’ll no longer be there to be seek.

Breathe the air of death,
Tell your soul you’ll be fine,
Just don’t hold back,
As I’ll be gone by now.




Thursday, May 04, 2006

Fact or Fiction?

The reason why i'm up this late typing away on my blog is because i can't get my body to sleep and i can't get my mind to rest. It has been happening for days now and i think sleeping disorder has been swarming the halls of residence in ways which are so contagious that it doesn't seem to be known as a malady, but more to a hobby. Why do i say so, because noone complains about sleeping disorders, but just take it as it is and finds pleasure in it.

As i'm sitting infront of my computer, with 'The Argentina Reader' before me, trying to find out how civilization has changed the conservative political system in Argentina and whether clash of civilization is a fact or a fiction. I couldn't come out with an answer yet as i don't even know when revolution begins in Argentina. The dates given in books are so dodgy that you do not even know which is the right one. One book may say that it is only in the 1860s that Argentina was known as a nation, and the other will say that Argentinian revolution was somewhere in may in the 19th Century in the early or mid 1800s. The thing about books is that it screw our mind and make us think that assumptions are just part and parcel of life that facts does not matter a single bit.

Say, if someone were to ask me, "so when and where did you last went to shop?" If i were to say... 'Say, last week, either friday or saturday at around noon?' The thing about facts is that it appears to everyone that a need of confirmation needs to be shown in the way we recite a statement. Friday or Saturday is not a stated fact, but more of an assumption on when i did went shopping. If someone were to say... 'I went shopping last friday, 28th April 2006, at 12pm sharp at Fountain Gate'. Now that is a fact stated clearly in black and white. We live life obliging strongly to facts that we became a slave to facts that we assume will bring us to places. Knowing or 'assuming' that if we fail to learn the facts of life, we will never be a better person. How can one determine the perfectability of historical dates and historical narrations? Of one culture, one religion, one tradition and of one faith obliged to the narration of facts in society that blinded us from reality. How does it matter when one is reading another one's story when knowing that we will never master in our own reality? Do we exist as individuals or are we molded by facts which determines our own sense of identity? The nature of truth does not exist anymore as assumptions clouded the earth which gives us a feeling of a factual reality that shapes our thoughts and accelerates the way we generate self-opinions. When does our opinion matters? Of course, it is when one dominant enough to tell us that it matters.

We will never stop evaluating ourselves with the facts of life. How much do we know and how much do we want to know is determined by our own sense of identity and sense of belonging in society. I would like to come to a conclusion, short and simple, by saying that the clash of civilization happens because of facts - the fact that a new society is needed, the fact that the economy of the country needs to be changed, the fact that the political system or structure needs reformation, the fact that the citizens of the country needs to cling on another ones culture, the fact that traditions are conservative and it's obsolete in the now-known 'new era'. One's changes in society are determine by factual evidence by well-known constitutions which shape a person's identity. Now, can one define self-determinism or individualism?

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Chernobyl Legacy

What's stress? When some couldn't even feel stress?
What's life? When some couldn't see one determined for them?
What's suicide? When some has left without noticing death?
What's love? When some couldn't even feel it.
What's happiness? When some couldn't even have it.
What's beauty? When one couldn't even define it.
What's the future? When one couldn't even see it before their eyes.

Chernobyl Legacy : http://todayspictures.slate.com/inmotion/essay%5Fchernobyl/?GT1=8019

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Classical music - What is life anyway?

Classical music is really beautiful. It protrays the life of unspoken talent and also gave voice to what was once beautiful in life. However, classical music has been undermined by the anguished and unworthy generation. Was life easy during the period before various revolutionary changes? Was the trouble of life unspoken before and conspicuous today? As i was listening to a ballade by Chopin known as 'Raindrops', i began my ramblings...

Life's so troublesome when you have people whom you can never get along with. Life is also stressful when you meet people who shows different characters everytime that you'll never know which is their trueself. Life is stressful when you know you can never depend on anyone but yourself and your instincts. Life is much more stressful when you know a person can have 100 different personalities to decieve you.

People are just so hard to get along with sometimes. Especially those who thinks they are all that and also those who hides from the world... their depression; their heartache; their happiness; their loneliness; their oblivion; and their troubled mind. Whenever you show how much you care about them, they just push you right into the corner of darkness and have your shadow walk all over you. No matter how hard you try to understand someone, their true colours never show until the day you think you know them good enough to gain their trust, a lie is just lingering around the corner. Life's a bore when you know no matter how hard you try to escape from the pain of striken reality, it hunts you down like a hawk to its prey.

My heart cries alone all night to understand how a human mind works. How can one spend so much time lingering in moments of sadness and loneliness? How can one juggle with various personalities at once? How can one say that she/he is fine, when she/he is not? It is precarious to know that no matter how much your mind ponders on things like these, nothing seems to be the right answer to the mentioned questions. There is nothing wrong to hide an unspoken life from the world, but it is just tiresome to have one feel that they are apart of it.

Another night where my insomnia is getting to my head; another night where sleep is all i need but can never have; another night of terrible heartache and lonesomeness; another night with the radio on but with no suiting songs to listen to; another night feeling hopeless; another night of agony and silence which needs to be fought off. I feel hopeless; I feel a need to cry to the world to change their every being. Can one show their true innocence before the eyes of the beholder? Life's complicated enough and now, we have to face the wonders of each human being we come to be in contact with.

The problem with life is that nothing seems real enough to feel, to touch or even to hold. Everything seems to be an illusion of the soul and to the eye. What's real is what you can feel, for what you thought you felt is just an illusion of the heart. What you think you saw was just another hallusination right before your eyes. The next day when you get up from sleep, you'll finally find out what is it like to leave yesterday and start a brand new day. Your body may have left yesterday, but your soul and mind are still pondering on what happened just the day before. Nothing can be momentarily, nothing can be eternal as well. It is because of the reality before the eyes that we fear of each days' happenings around us. We fear of what's fearless, we fear of what's frightful, and what we fear most is what's before us.

Nothing is momentarily... absolutely nothing... not memories, not a dream, not a prayer nor a certain sadness felt. What is momentarily is a smile of one dearest to you which you can never have the chance to see it once again.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Secrets... life's stressful

I came to know the fact that the most interesting thing in life is a secret or a story untold. And once told, everyone's a victim to a certain thought. A secret keeps someone away from a smile; a secret keeps someone away from the truth; and sadly, secret keeps someone away from a long lasting friendship. One may quarrel over petty issues or concerns, but one can never tolerate an unfold secret.

Secret, as defined in the dictionary, not known or seen; not meant to be known or seen. Everyone keeps a little part of themselves from the world, but how long can that little secret be kept away from society; away from a friend; away from a loved one; or even away from oneself. A secret being revolved around the unconcious mind of another just makes them suspicious to the people around them. However, life without a secret makes a person perfect. One may argue that it does. To me, a secret is what keeps a person striving for survival. As long as it is unknown to the world, days pass by like just any other.

Just today that i've only find out the deepest darkest secret in me which has been within me for the longest time. I'm not talking about my superego trying to over take my body, but more to my mind's trying to have me concentrate on something much more important than what i am doing in my life right now. As much as i would like to share, but i guess it is only a matter of months in order for me to finally come face to face with my biggest hidden secret. The fear of life and a life that i fear most might come true.

Well... i wouldn't want to make my post a bore. I guess the reason for my not updating my blog is that i've lost interest in posting up a new post every now and then. Or should i say, i've run out of interesting things to say. Well, i would love to write an update of my life in Australia but i don't think it is necessary for the time being as everyone knows i'm well and that i'll only be here for a year. Well, sadly, i did not get the chance to go to the commonwealth games as i do not have the money to get tickets. When i did have the money, the tickets were all sold out. Am i unlucky or what? I'll definately be going for the AFL, NRL, and also one of the stand up comedies. I've been trying to search for a job here, but seems to me like they aren't very keen in hiring international students.

Alright, need to get back to my research. I need to get things done but i do not have the motivation to do so and i don't have the inspiration that i have back home to do things. Argh!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

A Parished Woman

The life of a woman has been vanquished,
No more does she know of grace and virtue,
No more does she know of gratitude and kindness,
No more does she know the meaning of true laughter.

Before days have passed she knew no trouble,
Forbidden to see the devilish of men,
Today, before her eyes, evil rest upon her.
Making the days hard to understand for her own purpose.

Touches are tame,
Touches knew no nonsense,
Grace within a woman,
Knew not a man of foolishness.

Raging words fired through her mouth,
Nonsense within conspicuous as it sounds,
Through it all she failed all she had,
Was eternal foolishness she now knows somehow.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Angel

Influenced to be written by a friend who is going through a time of sorrow.


Bring me an angel, who sings of mercy and kindness,
The angel who brought the hidden stars away from the universe,
The angel who converse of a speech of a romantic novel,
The angel who brought life to a table of speechlessness.

I want to stand on a cliff that looks to the ocean,
To dream of life of its bitterness and sweetness,
To taste freedom within a distance,
To seek freedom among the voices of the silent ocean.

An angel who speaks of forever,
Of endless cries of happiness,
Of endless calls for joyfulness,
A dream came through from the eyes of the angel.

Weakness falls upon the strength of togetherness,
Light the fire that pales the endless darkness,
Forever seemed far from a cry of sorrow,
Tomorrow’s voice will never be heard, ever.

Spread my wings I want to fly,
Up to the mountains where my name’s craved.
To the earth and back,
To the moon and around,
Sing my angel as it will never hurt till now.
Break your wings, stomp it hard,
I never want to see a single frown.
Break your voice, soar your throat,
Forever has now been an endless cry.


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Drinking Soda Out of a Can?

I am not sure how far this is true but hope that you guys will be extra careful when drinking soda out of a can.

This incident happened recently in Delhi and we need to be even more careful everywhere. A woman went boating one Sunday, taking with her some cans of coke. On Monday she was taken into ICU and on Wednesday she died. The autopsy revealed a certain germ Leptospira caused by the can of coke from which she had drunk, not using a glass. A test showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis. Rat urine contains toxic and deadly substances. It is recommended to clean the upper part of soda cans before drinking out of them as they have been stocked in warehouses and transported straight the shops without being cleaned. A study in Spain showed that the tops of soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets i.e. full of germs and bacteria. So! to wash them with water is advised before making any contact with mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident. Remember to always use a glass or a straw and pass this on to everyone you care about.

Monday, February 06, 2006

I do not know what to feel at this very moment. I do not fill loved, trusted or furthermore, i do not even feel wanted. All i feel is that i need to break free from whatever feelings i'm having within me. Being loved is an illusion that will never turn into a reality. When someone say he or she loves you, it only means a matter of years and never eternal. It is almost like i have a pessimistic view on love and yes indeed, i do. I do not believe first love will last to be forever. I do not believe one could ever be satisfied with only one lover in their life. It's just us humans to be asking for more, and when we come to the part where we fear most, marriage, only then we'll start thinking on whether or not he or she is the one.

I just sit and think back of the days when i'm still single. The life that i've come to miss and wish that i could bring it with me further. When i fell inlove, i thought it would be a turning point for me. From lonliness to having a companion, from sadness to happiness. What i thought i could have turned out to be another story. It is not that i'm not happy with whoever i'm with now, it is more to me not being sure whether i am certain he is the one. Why do i still feel sadness when a companion promise you happiness? Why do i still feel loneliness when a companion is suppose to keep you company? Why do i feel unappreciated when my love has always been trying to commit? Love is never a one way communication. Love is never something tame, but hazardous when it comes to a certain stage.

I feel let down at times when things do not go my way. I wish things could be done much perfectly than what i have now. Exactly, we can never always get anything and everything we want. Dwelling on those possibilities are just mere dissappointments. I wonder what it could be like if there is no such thing as love. It may be chaos, but it would be much better to not have the feeling and feel let down after a heart is broken.

The most cruel feeling to have is to want your love to love you the way you wanted him/her to. It's a selfish thought but it is what everyone wants and needs. I want him to love me the way i want him to, but that would not be the case cause if it were to happen, then we would not be loving each other anymore but more towards competing to fulfill each others wants and needs. It is much better to sit back and observe how a person so dear to you can love you the way he thinks is best. And if he fail to fulfill whatever you wish he could, it is just life then as everyone is never perfect.

I have never fell in love so deeply with someone. And when i do, i know the taste of bitterness and sweetness while being in a relationship. It sucks but it is just the parcel of life that we need to go through. I'll learn how to love again if i need to. I'll learn how to survive without him being by my side as i have to. The most important thing, i'll learn the true meaning of love before i settle for eternity.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Will I Survive?

I woke up pretty early this morning to the sound of my alarm clock. As I sat up in bed, I do not know what I would expect today. Of course, it will be good to expect something coming from every corner of our life, but sometimes, things should be better stayed unexpected.

As I look at the time, I only realized it was 5 am in the morning. Checking what the fuss was all about, I read the note I made to myself on the electronic reminder in my hand phone. Ah, expected reminder. Beginning of the week, I’ve, thousand times, reminded myself of my departure date to Australia. I still do not know what I should expect in a new, foreign country. I’m as nervous as any others who will be joining me in Australia.

I don’t want another repetition of my entry titled ‘Reminiscence is bliss’, I just want to calm down and think positive of what I’ll be expecting in a foreign country. Of course, there are many things on my mind which I wish to do. First of all, I would really want to tackle my biggest fear in life – heights! Looking down from a 50 story building will not do, but I guess bunji jumping will help. I know it may sound a little frantic coming from someone who’s afraid of heights, but I do not know of other ways to tackle this fear.

I want to go to Adelaide… ALONE! I always want to try traveling long distance alone, without anyone by my side. It was hard to find a chance to travel around back here as parents and relatives are my restrictions. However, I would just keep my mouth shut and not tell anyone when I’m in Australia. I want to see the world alone, meet unexpected acquaintances, talk to people from different races, and taste special Australian cuisine which could be rarely tasted in Malaysia.

I’ve decided to work and study at the same time when I’m there in Australia. I thought of actually interning with Red Cross. After two months of interning with UNHCR, I finally found out that my interest was always on humanitarian issues. After observing my supervisor attending to her work as a PR person, I realized that I have so much to learn and experience. I just don’t want to give up my chances of working in Australia as well as my chances of traveling around alone.

I really hope and pray I can work through the year alone, without my closest friends to support me all the way; without my boyfriend to give me comfort; without my parents to provide me with daily necessities, and most of all, without restrictions on where to go and where not to. I’m on my own in a foreign land… could I survive, I shall see…

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Affirmation

I truly think this is one of the best song that Savage Garden ever came up with. The lyric is truly remarkable. One of the best song i've ever heard as well and hopefully most of you agree with me.

Artist: Savage Garden
Song Titile: Affirmation

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone


I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye


I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe you’re most attractive features are your heart and soul.
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires


I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye


I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity


I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye