If

If I could tell the world just one thing,
I would tell them the game you played,
The secret we kept and the relationship we were in,
It all turned out to be crashing to the ground.

If I could tell the world just one thing,
I would tell the silly mistakes you made,
Getting in and out of trouble the best way you can,
Is this some sort of a trend you were in?

If I could tell the world just one thing,
It would be the embarrassing moments we had,
Sitting down on main-street with the hat you wear,
The silly sounds you made that couldn’t be compared.

If I could tell the world just one thing,
It would be that silly play you did,
To show me you were meant for me,
But ended up breaking up again and again.

If there is a place in this world I want to be,
It would be at your doorstep on a winter’s night,
Sitting just below that Christmas tree,
Singing Christmas carols all night long.

If there is a place in this world I want to be,
I just want to be by myself all night,
Nothing more than just to look outside the window,
Forgetting about day light, just looking at the snow.

What does Count Dracula has to do with Christmas?

When Dracula was pronounced to be vanished from the surface of the earth, i'm here trying to jam my head in the refrigerator... now what am i trying to get to. When everyone is nicely dressed and has already started their christmas shopping in Midvalley, i guess i was the only one in a million to be stuck, wondering what would be the best christmas present for a friend of mine. Well, nothing in particular comes to mind, but seriously, come to think of it, i don't even enjoy christmas season or any other seasons which needed much celebration.

When lil' children are begging their parents to get them the finest clothes, i sat just watching how nice it was to become a child again. Well, it's not like my mom would ever buy me something that i begged for, but just being carefree and making sure you would not let go of your mother's right hand are two wonderful things you would want to experience over and over again. Some teenagers went to the extant of going bargain hunting in MNG *whatz with gurls and MNG anywayz?*, i went to the nearest Giodarno outlet, wishing there were discount given to every single outfit i would like to purchase... guess my luck wasn't there with me at that very point of time.

Midvalley is history, let's talk about Petaling Street and the so-worth-it-clothes. I had fun just walking around and doing some shopping. Drinking Kopi 'O' in my uncle's shop was seriously refreshing after a days walk. Oh well, i dont even think i can sleep early tonight to get ready for a christmas celebration in Church tomorrow morning. Well, i do hope my cellies come up with a really interesting and facinating presentation....

What am i doing at 2 A.M.?

The fact that I am languorously tired and seriously needed to get some sleep truly bites me. It’s not like I had anything important that kept my mind occupied. Great, now it’s 2am in the morning and it’s as if I will be getting any sleep soon. Something, not someone, just kept appearing in my mind and I seriously didn’t want to think about it. Well, it’s not like I’ll ever benefit in whatever I am thinking of now.

Talking about ambiguous words the other day with a bunch of friends, I finally find out that ‘love’ has no one true definition. Correct me if I am wrong, no one came up with the exact same definition. Everyone seems to have their own definition to the word ‘love’. So, what’s so scary with that word that shiver in the middle of the night and even being afaid to get some sleep?

I was watching a romantic comedy the other day – Sleepless Night in Seattle – what kept me thinking was the part Meg Ryan left her fiancé to meet up with ‘Mr. Mystery’ (Tom Hanks that called himself ‘Sleepless Night in Seattle’) and then ‘BOOM’ there, they fell in love all of a sudden. Well, it is not as if it was anyone’s problem, but I just find it weird. It’s like suddenly you feel the urge to meet up with an anonymous persona who has somehow, out of the blue, sent you an email telling you that it was love at first sight from the moment he saw you coming down from the escalator of a shopping mall.

So I sat here thinking and thinking; if I ever, mysteriously, get to meet someone and suddenly felt that I was unconsciously falling in love with him, what will happen? Doesn’t sound like a big a deal after all because it does happen in life. If it does, then why am I sitting here thinking about this? Sleep was what I needed now, but it is somehow taken away from me because of these thoughts which are now lingering in my mind. These surreal thoughts are driving me insane. With a wave of my ‘magic wand’, it never wanted to leave me alone. What I need now is an alone time, just once, being ignorant of the outcome of unconscious love, being kept away from ever wanting to fall in love after a hurtful afternoon.

*it's late, and i seriously do not know what the heck i'm crapping about in here... off to bed!

Pay The Price (poem of anger)

This was how it went... was kindda in a bad mood, so i thought, just fantasize a guy and then suddenly, i just got the inspiration to write this. Enjoy!

When nothing touches the ground,
You’re standing right there like no one cares,
You should have been given the crown,
But you had the emotions that no one has.

This was the first lesson I’ve learnt,
Never to walk in the shoes of a stranger,
Now the memories just burn,
Days gone by and things got weirder and weirder.

So what if you do not have a single clue,
About the days that I am going through,
Not like you care so much about asking,
You left me here just sinking.

How deep can it hurt?
Tomorrow is a brand new day for me,
Now, where should I start?
You know well that nothing comes for free.

Pay the price and be gone with it,
I wouldn’t want you to stay to break my heart,
There is nothing in my dairy left for you to read,
Just a broken heart that needs mending,
And now, I shall keep the doors shut.

The seasons are gone for long,
I’m back here keeping my head up high,
I'm now here to prove everything you said were wrong,
Haven’t you regretted for the things you’ve said to me before?

Pay the price and be gone with it,
There is nothing yet to loose for another day,
Pay the price, so to speak,
Tomorrow comes and you’ll be gone with the wind!

Christmas On My Mind...?

Everyone around me seems to be having a good time thinking of how to celebrate this festive season. As for me, i am still in a holiday mood but exclude the seasonable fun which i should be thinking of from now. Well, it's not like i dont like Christmas, is just that, i guess i have been on holiday for too long and it does not give me the mood to celebrate. So help me!

Well, cousins were back since Sunday and they will be gone tomorrow. Let's see, what have i been doing this 4 days. Well, it doesn't seem like i benefited in these 4 days besides of going shopping and having to meet up with Jack and have fun just fooling around with the pool table. Oh well, it's nice to win, but when you keep winning, you find that is wasn't at all challenging and you want to call the whole thing off.

Problem now is that my cell group members are to come up with a presentation on Christmas day and we got to present it in front of the entire church members. It will be fun, but i thought of caroling cause i love to sing and looking forward to forming a choir. The problem is, i'm 2 hours away from K.L. and i am not coming close to paying my church members and my cellies a visit. I seriously don't mind going to K.L. for the weekend if i dont have a class reunion on Friday (17th of December). It wouldn't be nice to cancel it as i really do wanna meet my group of friends... it has been ages since i last meet up with them.

10 ways to find out whether your friendship is going down the drain

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

10 ways to find out whether your friendship is going down the drain:-

1. The person says that he or she got to go when you have something important to tell her over the phone.

- Best friends should always be there for each other. "Sorry but i got to go," doesn't sound like she/he is eager enough to know what you have to say or even want to know what your next sentence will sound like. So, forget about calling her/him again later in the evening... same thing will happen.

2. The person promises to call you back but failed to do so.

- One way or another, both of you call each other to talk over some issues the both of are facing. However, the all most popular phrase would be 'Hey, i got to go, call you back okay?'. Oh well, you just sat by the phone, just waiting for him/her to call back, guess what, she/he did not do so.

3. Forgetting your birthday

- Besides having your parents and siblings remember your birthday and having a surprise waiting for you to experience, on the other hand, your best friend forgets and later on he/she calls you to say 'happy belated birthday... i'm truely sorry', which of cause will be a month later.

4. Did not invite you to his/her birthday party.

- When you find out, his/her responds will be "Oh, i thought i told so-and-so to tell you, didn't he/she told you?" Pretty obvious that the person did not tell you, right?

5. Forgetting your phone number

- Now where did he/she put his/her phone book?

6. Doesn't sound interested when you tell them that you finally found what you were looking for.

- Well, first of all, best friends always have the intention to say 'hey, remember, when you find what you are looking for, let me be the first to know okay... promise?!'. So there you go, you give him/her a call and guess what... 'Oh really, oh wow, congrats...' and the conversation stops right... there!

7. Stays speechless when you are feeling the urge to pour out your problems

- Best friends always cheer up one another. And if they fail, at least you know someone still cares for you. However, besides of doing what a best friend should do, his/her responds was 'hrm....'; 'oh.....'; 'sorry....', or just dead silence. Well silence is golden, not when you need him/her most. Can't they just at least hear you out and give you a shoulder to cry on after that.

8. Coming to know that they backstabbed you one time which is enough to call the whole 'bestfriend' thing off!

- Yeah, sometimes you may not stand each other's attitude, but, he/she decided to tell the whole world how perfect she is and you are not.

9. Now he/she has a girlfriend/boyfriend, you don't seem to matter anymore.

- This happens, it always does without fail. So if your best friend has a girlfriend/boyfriend, it's time to send you packing and heading to the world of loneliness.

10. Conversations only last for a minute

- Hi and Bye, then later on 'I'll call you!'... I'm so not going to fall for that!