What am i doing at 2 A.M.?

The fact that I am languorously tired and seriously needed to get some sleep truly bites me. It’s not like I had anything important that kept my mind occupied. Great, now it’s 2am in the morning and it’s as if I will be getting any sleep soon. Something, not someone, just kept appearing in my mind and I seriously didn’t want to think about it. Well, it’s not like I’ll ever benefit in whatever I am thinking of now.

Talking about ambiguous words the other day with a bunch of friends, I finally find out that ‘love’ has no one true definition. Correct me if I am wrong, no one came up with the exact same definition. Everyone seems to have their own definition to the word ‘love’. So, what’s so scary with that word that shiver in the middle of the night and even being afaid to get some sleep?

I was watching a romantic comedy the other day – Sleepless Night in Seattle – what kept me thinking was the part Meg Ryan left her fiancé to meet up with ‘Mr. Mystery’ (Tom Hanks that called himself ‘Sleepless Night in Seattle’) and then ‘BOOM’ there, they fell in love all of a sudden. Well, it is not as if it was anyone’s problem, but I just find it weird. It’s like suddenly you feel the urge to meet up with an anonymous persona who has somehow, out of the blue, sent you an email telling you that it was love at first sight from the moment he saw you coming down from the escalator of a shopping mall.

So I sat here thinking and thinking; if I ever, mysteriously, get to meet someone and suddenly felt that I was unconsciously falling in love with him, what will happen? Doesn’t sound like a big a deal after all because it does happen in life. If it does, then why am I sitting here thinking about this? Sleep was what I needed now, but it is somehow taken away from me because of these thoughts which are now lingering in my mind. These surreal thoughts are driving me insane. With a wave of my ‘magic wand’, it never wanted to leave me alone. What I need now is an alone time, just once, being ignorant of the outcome of unconscious love, being kept away from ever wanting to fall in love after a hurtful afternoon.

*it's late, and i seriously do not know what the heck i'm crapping about in here... off to bed!