The Chances Are......Slim

Sad isn't it... when someone tells you that he or she could never be with you. All he treated you was strictly as friends and he seems to not want anything special going on between the both of you. So, all of a sudden, you just sit up in your room with the lights off, thinking of sweet memories of the two of you; sipping on coffee at the nearest cafe or having lunch at the Renaissance Hotel. When the Celtic music of 'Sona' by Secret Garden just started playing on your CD player, it reminded you of the walks you took with him. Just sauntering along the sandy beach; exchanging views of the world today. Hugging your bolster tightly and tears started streaming down your cheeks. Whenever you reach for a tissue, your tears would never stop its flow. Scattered was your tissue on the floor, but, too tired to gather them up neatly.

You sat for a long time on bed, just letting the memories dominate your sanity. You seem to be hypnotized by every word he had said in the past which were now replaying over and over again in your mind. You want it to stop, but it would never end. Those endless hurtful words he shouted and he seemed to have been excruciating you mentally. Because of those few abusive words that has been spoken through his mouth; through the person that you love most in your life. That does not sound like him at all. You never recall a day seeing him act this way. Suddenly, your emotions seem to be changing gradually. Firstly, you felt upset with the way he reacted, but now, you feel the anger burning in you. You do not know what to do next, you just hid under your sheets, put a pillow against your face and scream till your lungs feel sore.

Annoyed by what you did, you threw the covers off your bed and stood up to go to the bathroom. Just looking at your image in the mirror and screamed... "YOU FOOL". Yes, indeed, you have been such a fool to thrust your whole life at someone who doesn't even notice you; someone who doesn't even know you existed. What's the use for all the shattered tears and the agony felt when the opposite sex isn't feeling the same for you. It's time to go on you suddenly told yourself. The image shown in the mirror wasn't you at all. You smashed it and went to bed. You were then trying so hard to get some sleep.

In your dreams, you saw him again. He is having his arms outstretched to receive your embrace. You hesitated for a moment. Being fully awake, you knew that it was just a dream. You got a glimpse of him… now, was that tears you see in his eyes?

You asked yourself, why is he crying for me?

You stared, stunned. You were somehow stupefied.

What is it that he wants?

You continued building and implanting questions in your mind. Your mind just felt so heavy, you wanted to run... a substantial mile perhaps? How long can you last?

The voice of your deceased grandmother came back to haunt your mind… she told you once to never run from your problems as you will end up absorbing more. You wanted to settle it once and for all.

You stepped closer to him.

I am sorry... I need you here with me.

He spoke for the very first time in ages. Dazed; just looking at him made your heart felt insecure. Your heart started palpitating violently... hyperventilating... breathing in air... trying to be calm.

Do not panic, you advised yourself.

You seem to be mesmerized by his eyes.

The population of the world seems to be limited down to the both of you. Both of you were somehow standing in the lime light.

Something in him seemed to be astonishing and you would be so much so eager to find out. Suddenly, he spoke poetically, but, you could not seem to understand the meaning of his conveyed poem. Even though you understand wholly of each word he says, but the sentence of each line did not seem to form meanings. Somehow, it did not seem to connect.

Isn’t the moonlight looking pale tonight?
Just you and I underneath this ray of light.
Can’t you feel my craving heart?
It’s for you, can’t you see?
Blindness seems to engulf your innocent mind,
The mind of an infant I would have once knew.

You try to analyze the things he just said. However, the meaning does not seem to be at all comprehensible. You wanted truly to know what he said. You lifted your head; opened your mouth, not a single word had the chance to be uttered and he vanished.