I'm not sure to what extent do you agree with my statement. Everyday of the year, people suffer persecution, abuse, harrasments, and even emotional unstability. The sufferings only add up to eternal unhappiness and agony. However, to us Christians, we need to know that sufferings only lead to perfection. How? Of course, through the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and even years of suffering, we learn to grow wiser and much more faithful in God. We learn to seek God in terms of the sufferings we are cast into and we learn to understand the purpose of life through sufferings and also the will of God. Most importantly, we learn how to achieve the will of God through sufferings and it only sums up to perfection and justification in the eyes of the Lord.
Let's see it in a 'down to earth' manner. We suffer almost everyday in life. Sufferings come in any corner we turn to, in any places we step foot on and by meeting people and learning how to live with them. However, what we do not know is that, we suffer and the more we do, the more we learn. We do not just learn from the mistakes we make, but we learn from the agony gain in difficulties and obstacles we face. At the end of the day, we learn how to cope with these difficulties and it only contributes to perfection.
Ah well, noone in this world is perfect. No one, but still, there are so-called 'perfect' situation and 'perfect' handling. It only leads us to understand how well we deal with our problems and how far we can go to find solutions to it. And when the time comes, you'll be a guru for handling your own problems.
I learn well from pastor Neil Patterson today during church when he speaks of wisdom, truth, knowledge and sufferings. I pretty much agree wholly to his statement on 'Sufferings only lead to Perfection'. As i drove down to Sunway to meet up with Zeck, my mind was recalling on the sermon that Patterson gave and somehow, i learnt a lesson which i should have learnt ages ago, and that is... look to the Lord everyday for a better plan tomorrow. To me, it just means that, sufferings only make me understand how important it is to live life searching for solutions with the aiding of the Lord's supervision. By prayer only can i know what God has planned for me.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Worst Driver Ever Met on the Road
Worst drivers ever met:
1. Truck drivers who think they own the whole BLOODY road. Taking on two lanes at a time and never ever having their break lights checked before starting their journey.
2. Lame drivers. Pint-pointing at drivers who drives real slowly, and i mean DAMN SLOWLY, well, let's see, about 30-50 km/h. It's never a dangerous ride of your life when you go at a speed of 60-100km/h.
3. Season drivers. Wow, these drivers think of themselves as F1 drivers who are racing for the finish line... or should i say, completing their last lap of the day. Come on people, havent you heard of BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY!!
4. People who does not show determination on which lane they want to be. Let's see, when you are tailing behind them, suddenly, they have their signal to the left... you waited for about 30 seconds and if they dont cut in, you just carry on to over take him... but then, the bugger just swayed his car at your direction... YES INDEED, he want's to get on the LEFT lane. So, no choice, you are left with no choice but to HONK that fella! Well, later on, you found yourself staring at a face of a mad man, or just out of 'unfailing kindness', you just got shown the third finger... HOW *cough* SWEET *full with sarcasm*
5. Drivers in fancy, luxurious cars who doesn't even know how to handle their automobile. Come on people, why get a BMW, Volvo, Peugeot, Rexton or any other luxurious car when you dont even know how to drive and handle them? Worst still, taking up two lanes when you have your signal which is signaling to the right or to the left... MAKE UP YOUR MIND PEOPLE ON WHERE YOU'RE HEADING!!!
6. Bus drivers who has no brains. Yo! Your bus is much bigger than a car... so... GIVE US A BREAK!!!
7. Motorcyclist. So what if you are vulnarable on the road... haven't you heard of safety handling? If you don't know how to ride a motorbike, than stop riding it on the road. Because of them, it makes it tougher for drivers to signal their car to the left or to the right when each time they do, a motorcycle will start passing by. Motorcyclist are suppose to be at the side of the road, and not in front of cars. Yet again, IT AINT YOUR GRANDFATHER'S ROAD ... MIND YOU!
8. Drivers who jumps queue without even knowing the beauty of having the courtesy of giving a signal. Well, from my own point of view as well as judging from experience, the reason why accidents happened aint because of fast drivers but its because of people who doesn't even know where they are heading... and when they do, suddenly they will just cut in without even signaling their direction. WHAT ARE CAR SIGNALS FOR PEOPLE!!!! Queue jumpers are just sick, havent they any sense that jumping queue is seriously rude... ESPECIALLY BIG TRUCKS AND BUSES!!
9. Taxi drivers. Yo, if you want to pick up customers, could you please not park your damn car in the middle of the road as if you own the road. Do have the courtesy to just park at the side of the road while waiting for customers. Again, IT'S NOT YOUR GRANDFATHER'S ROAD. If it is... then... PROVE IT!!
Hrmm, i guess that's all for now... will update more if i ever come across other 'worst drivers on the road'! Enjoy!
1. Truck drivers who think they own the whole BLOODY road. Taking on two lanes at a time and never ever having their break lights checked before starting their journey.
2. Lame drivers. Pint-pointing at drivers who drives real slowly, and i mean DAMN SLOWLY, well, let's see, about 30-50 km/h. It's never a dangerous ride of your life when you go at a speed of 60-100km/h.
3. Season drivers. Wow, these drivers think of themselves as F1 drivers who are racing for the finish line... or should i say, completing their last lap of the day. Come on people, havent you heard of BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY!!
4. People who does not show determination on which lane they want to be. Let's see, when you are tailing behind them, suddenly, they have their signal to the left... you waited for about 30 seconds and if they dont cut in, you just carry on to over take him... but then, the bugger just swayed his car at your direction... YES INDEED, he want's to get on the LEFT lane. So, no choice, you are left with no choice but to HONK that fella! Well, later on, you found yourself staring at a face of a mad man, or just out of 'unfailing kindness', you just got shown the third finger... HOW *cough* SWEET *full with sarcasm*
5. Drivers in fancy, luxurious cars who doesn't even know how to handle their automobile. Come on people, why get a BMW, Volvo, Peugeot, Rexton or any other luxurious car when you dont even know how to drive and handle them? Worst still, taking up two lanes when you have your signal which is signaling to the right or to the left... MAKE UP YOUR MIND PEOPLE ON WHERE YOU'RE HEADING!!!
6. Bus drivers who has no brains. Yo! Your bus is much bigger than a car... so... GIVE US A BREAK!!!
7. Motorcyclist. So what if you are vulnarable on the road... haven't you heard of safety handling? If you don't know how to ride a motorbike, than stop riding it on the road. Because of them, it makes it tougher for drivers to signal their car to the left or to the right when each time they do, a motorcycle will start passing by. Motorcyclist are suppose to be at the side of the road, and not in front of cars. Yet again, IT AINT YOUR GRANDFATHER'S ROAD ... MIND YOU!
8. Drivers who jumps queue without even knowing the beauty of having the courtesy of giving a signal. Well, from my own point of view as well as judging from experience, the reason why accidents happened aint because of fast drivers but its because of people who doesn't even know where they are heading... and when they do, suddenly they will just cut in without even signaling their direction. WHAT ARE CAR SIGNALS FOR PEOPLE!!!! Queue jumpers are just sick, havent they any sense that jumping queue is seriously rude... ESPECIALLY BIG TRUCKS AND BUSES!!
9. Taxi drivers. Yo, if you want to pick up customers, could you please not park your damn car in the middle of the road as if you own the road. Do have the courtesy to just park at the side of the road while waiting for customers. Again, IT'S NOT YOUR GRANDFATHER'S ROAD. If it is... then... PROVE IT!!
Hrmm, i guess that's all for now... will update more if i ever come across other 'worst drivers on the road'! Enjoy!
Thursday, May 26, 2005
A Shout Out
Hey... Michael Buble's 'Home' should be my 'most listened' song of the year... the title has been taken!!... so... why the hack are there still people listening to it more than i do!!!!
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
I should 'BLOODY' study already!!
Now, after all has been done (assignments, quizes and INT2050 exams), i'm still down with the last INT2050 major assignment and also my final exams. However, what's stopping me from studying is my own being too over confidence. Not as if i have done well from the starting of the semester till now, it's more like i've been kicking back now and then and whenever i thought i could have done better, there are so many things i have not come close to achieve yet.
Ha! Indeed, it's life of a University student when there are times you just sit and kick back and then, the next moment, you'll just start wondering - what the hack am i suppose to do again? Yes, study! Exams are like - what!- in one weeks time. It's just around the corner, and hey, i'm being all stressed up about it, but i'm not even doing a single, damn thing! Confidence - i kept on chanting that word. It should be a taboo word by now! Some may think it's the best thing a person can have... just by being confident and nothing will be able to distract you. Ah! Think again... once i get my question paper on the day of the exam itself, i'll start screaming (in hight pitch) the word of regret and sigh with frustration.
As i sit and read through the work of Modleski, T. on 'Hitchcock, Feminism, and the Patriachal Unconcious', i did try hard to understand every single word of the text. Hey, ever come across a time where you try focusing on something, but your mind just, suddenly, wondered to another thing. Ah well, i guess we are on the same boat then if you always do what i do. I am, pretty much, going to give up on reading the whole text and just focus on the parts where Dr. Andrew pointed out. But, yet again, it's just not enough. Why do i find it so difficult when everyone thinks that it's just... well... should i say... easy?
Grumble, grumble, grumble...
Ha! Indeed, it's life of a University student when there are times you just sit and kick back and then, the next moment, you'll just start wondering - what the hack am i suppose to do again? Yes, study! Exams are like - what!- in one weeks time. It's just around the corner, and hey, i'm being all stressed up about it, but i'm not even doing a single, damn thing! Confidence - i kept on chanting that word. It should be a taboo word by now! Some may think it's the best thing a person can have... just by being confident and nothing will be able to distract you. Ah! Think again... once i get my question paper on the day of the exam itself, i'll start screaming (in hight pitch) the word of regret and sigh with frustration.
As i sit and read through the work of Modleski, T. on 'Hitchcock, Feminism, and the Patriachal Unconcious', i did try hard to understand every single word of the text. Hey, ever come across a time where you try focusing on something, but your mind just, suddenly, wondered to another thing. Ah well, i guess we are on the same boat then if you always do what i do. I am, pretty much, going to give up on reading the whole text and just focus on the parts where Dr. Andrew pointed out. But, yet again, it's just not enough. Why do i find it so difficult when everyone thinks that it's just... well... should i say... easy?
Grumble, grumble, grumble...
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Ballerina
There was a girl sitting at a coffee table at a corner of the café where I am working in the yester night.
As I served her coffee, I saw that she was attentively scribbling endlessly on a piece of crumbled paper that she had in front of her.
Burning with curiosity to know what she’s writing, for a second, I was tempted to just sneak behind her back to take a stealthy look into her writing. On the other hand, I feel guilty for doing so as I know it is wrong to interfere in another’s affair, especially when I’m doing it surreptitiously.
As I served the last customer of the night, all of a sudden, a young gentleman came walking through the entrance of the café. He signaled the lady who was engaged in her writing a while ago, but at that very moment, she was just relaxing in her place while taking a last sip of her coffee.
At the corner of my eyes, she stood up, lightly laid a five dollar note on the coffee table and exited through out the door of the café. She was gone with the young gentleman and never returned.
“My Life as a Ballerina” was the title of her masterpiece that she was working so hard on. Why did she leave it here on the table? I wanted to run after her to return her writing but she was out of sight.
Should I read it or should I not?
Read it! A voice screamed in my mind.
I did, and I read. Being thankful that the day had come to an end and customers were leaving the café to head to their next destination.
I sat at the place where the lady was sitting awhile ago. A coffee in my hand and the letter was held up at eye level as I scanned through her ‘life’ which was narrated in the piece of paper.
She was just nine when she started dancing. She was crowned ‘Princess of Ballet’ at the age of 17 and from then on her career started and ended at the age of 23. She wanted so much to continue pursuing her dreams as a dancer but she was facing a fearful dilemma at that very point of time which stood as a barrier between her dreams and her life.
She fell in love with her dance instructor who was 12 years older than she was. All this while, she was hiding her feelings away from him without even building the courage to tell him how much he meant to her. That was her first mistake in life which she made, and now that he has gone, she was regretting so much that it hurts. She was afraid to go to bed at night because each night, as she closes her eyes, she will see her instructor dancing in the pale moonlight and that sight will never fade away. It just kept lingering in her dreams.
After he was pronounced dead on the night of her performance, she knew that bits and pieces of her life were just slowly tumbling down before her eyes. After 2 years of living in agony, a different story began in her life when a new instructor came to guide her in dancing. He was not only a mentor to her, but also her dance partner.
This time it wasn’t her who fell in love, but it was him who has deep affection for her.
His feelings were guarded by the fact that he is a married man to a beautiful wife and three children. However, each time when they dance, his love was shown through body language and the way he held her.
He reminds me of him! And I don’t want to fall for someone who is married to a lovely woman…
Unconsciously, she was too falling inlove with her new instructor. Only time could tell whether they were meant for each other, but, the very fact that he is married disturbed her deeply.
On the day of the competition, she was reluctant to participate all of a sudden. Hesitating to walk out the door of her apartment, she sat infront of the mirror and asked herself over and over again, “what if I don’t attend, will he ever understand?”
I don’t want him to feel rejected; I just want him to understand what true happiness means when it’s just right before his very eyes. I don’t want him to make a mistake where both of us will regret at the end.
She knew that if she went on dancing with him, it may lead to misery and that she will be the one to be blamed.
She cried, not wanting to loose the chance of seeing him for the very last time, she knew she had a choice to make. At the end, she chose to dance the very last dance.
It was the most wondrous night she had ever experienced. As the song “And When She Dance” by David Foster & Marilyn Martin started playing, they just glided onto the dance floor. They danced gracefully into the night. They were brought into the limelight. At that very moment, she knew very well that she will be leaving the dance floor with memories which will be of burden to her at the end of her performance. She didn’t pay much attention to what will be happening next after the night is over, but, she just wanted so much to enjoy what is now and will be gone at the very moment the music stops.
Mixed feelings of anxiety and joy were what I felt that night, but now, they are just a burdened memory kept in my heart. From today on, as I lay my pen at rest, I will never want to remember these sweet memories ever again. I must learn to let go and carry on with life which I know that I will find meaning to live for once again. Whomever who is reading this right now, do keep it a secret and never share what is felt by ‘you’ to the people around you. Thank you for serving my vision.
It ended so abruptly. I wanted to know more; to know what happened next in her life after she stopped her career as a ballerina. Who was the gentleman she left with that day? I smiled to myself, knowing that she had lay down her burdened memories on this little piece of crumbled paper and carried on with life.
-----------------
Listening to a song titled 'And When She Dance' by David Foster & Marilyn Martin
Song: And When She Dance
Artist(s): David Foster & Marilyn Martin
Can you go back in time to a place in your mind
To the one who knew a part of you
That you just couldn't find.
If you ask me to choose between a memory or two
When it's said and done
I'll take the one who's love I had to lose.
Cause when she danced
I lost my inner sense
I loved her then, I always would.
She left with me
It's still with me
A burnin' memory
She took with her a part of me
If I could get back where I've been
Feel the passion I felt then
I'd be there right now and yet somehow
It never comes again
She had nothin' to gain
No where to go
To the way out of pain
The time with
With a song and dance she lost romance
The world had gone insane
Cause when she danced
Cause when we danced
I lost my inner sense
I loved her then
I loved
I always will
I always will
She left with me
He left with me
A burnin' memory
Remember somehow
She took with her a part of me
Can you go back in time to a place in your mind
To the one who knew a part of you
That you just couldn't find
Lookin' back I'm not sure
If I won or lost the war
When she danced with me
Our hearts were free as far as I could see
I'd be there right now and yet somehow
It never comes again
When she danced with me
Our hearts were free
Were free
As far as I could see
As I served her coffee, I saw that she was attentively scribbling endlessly on a piece of crumbled paper that she had in front of her.
Burning with curiosity to know what she’s writing, for a second, I was tempted to just sneak behind her back to take a stealthy look into her writing. On the other hand, I feel guilty for doing so as I know it is wrong to interfere in another’s affair, especially when I’m doing it surreptitiously.
As I served the last customer of the night, all of a sudden, a young gentleman came walking through the entrance of the café. He signaled the lady who was engaged in her writing a while ago, but at that very moment, she was just relaxing in her place while taking a last sip of her coffee.
At the corner of my eyes, she stood up, lightly laid a five dollar note on the coffee table and exited through out the door of the café. She was gone with the young gentleman and never returned.
“My Life as a Ballerina” was the title of her masterpiece that she was working so hard on. Why did she leave it here on the table? I wanted to run after her to return her writing but she was out of sight.
Should I read it or should I not?
Read it! A voice screamed in my mind.
I did, and I read. Being thankful that the day had come to an end and customers were leaving the café to head to their next destination.
I sat at the place where the lady was sitting awhile ago. A coffee in my hand and the letter was held up at eye level as I scanned through her ‘life’ which was narrated in the piece of paper.
She was just nine when she started dancing. She was crowned ‘Princess of Ballet’ at the age of 17 and from then on her career started and ended at the age of 23. She wanted so much to continue pursuing her dreams as a dancer but she was facing a fearful dilemma at that very point of time which stood as a barrier between her dreams and her life.
She fell in love with her dance instructor who was 12 years older than she was. All this while, she was hiding her feelings away from him without even building the courage to tell him how much he meant to her. That was her first mistake in life which she made, and now that he has gone, she was regretting so much that it hurts. She was afraid to go to bed at night because each night, as she closes her eyes, she will see her instructor dancing in the pale moonlight and that sight will never fade away. It just kept lingering in her dreams.
After he was pronounced dead on the night of her performance, she knew that bits and pieces of her life were just slowly tumbling down before her eyes. After 2 years of living in agony, a different story began in her life when a new instructor came to guide her in dancing. He was not only a mentor to her, but also her dance partner.
This time it wasn’t her who fell in love, but it was him who has deep affection for her.
His feelings were guarded by the fact that he is a married man to a beautiful wife and three children. However, each time when they dance, his love was shown through body language and the way he held her.
He reminds me of him! And I don’t want to fall for someone who is married to a lovely woman…
Unconsciously, she was too falling inlove with her new instructor. Only time could tell whether they were meant for each other, but, the very fact that he is married disturbed her deeply.
On the day of the competition, she was reluctant to participate all of a sudden. Hesitating to walk out the door of her apartment, she sat infront of the mirror and asked herself over and over again, “what if I don’t attend, will he ever understand?”
I don’t want him to feel rejected; I just want him to understand what true happiness means when it’s just right before his very eyes. I don’t want him to make a mistake where both of us will regret at the end.
She knew that if she went on dancing with him, it may lead to misery and that she will be the one to be blamed.
She cried, not wanting to loose the chance of seeing him for the very last time, she knew she had a choice to make. At the end, she chose to dance the very last dance.
It was the most wondrous night she had ever experienced. As the song “And When She Dance” by David Foster & Marilyn Martin started playing, they just glided onto the dance floor. They danced gracefully into the night. They were brought into the limelight. At that very moment, she knew very well that she will be leaving the dance floor with memories which will be of burden to her at the end of her performance. She didn’t pay much attention to what will be happening next after the night is over, but, she just wanted so much to enjoy what is now and will be gone at the very moment the music stops.
Mixed feelings of anxiety and joy were what I felt that night, but now, they are just a burdened memory kept in my heart. From today on, as I lay my pen at rest, I will never want to remember these sweet memories ever again. I must learn to let go and carry on with life which I know that I will find meaning to live for once again. Whomever who is reading this right now, do keep it a secret and never share what is felt by ‘you’ to the people around you. Thank you for serving my vision.
It ended so abruptly. I wanted to know more; to know what happened next in her life after she stopped her career as a ballerina. Who was the gentleman she left with that day? I smiled to myself, knowing that she had lay down her burdened memories on this little piece of crumbled paper and carried on with life.
-----------------
Listening to a song titled 'And When She Dance' by David Foster & Marilyn Martin
Song: And When She Dance
Artist(s): David Foster & Marilyn Martin
Can you go back in time to a place in your mind
To the one who knew a part of you
That you just couldn't find.
If you ask me to choose between a memory or two
When it's said and done
I'll take the one who's love I had to lose.
Cause when she danced
I lost my inner sense
I loved her then, I always would.
She left with me
It's still with me
A burnin' memory
She took with her a part of me
If I could get back where I've been
Feel the passion I felt then
I'd be there right now and yet somehow
It never comes again
She had nothin' to gain
No where to go
To the way out of pain
The time with
With a song and dance she lost romance
The world had gone insane
Cause when she danced
Cause when we danced
I lost my inner sense
I loved her then
I loved
I always will
I always will
She left with me
He left with me
A burnin' memory
Remember somehow
She took with her a part of me
Can you go back in time to a place in your mind
To the one who knew a part of you
That you just couldn't find
Lookin' back I'm not sure
If I won or lost the war
When she danced with me
Our hearts were free as far as I could see
I'd be there right now and yet somehow
It never comes again
When she danced with me
Our hearts were free
Were free
As far as I could see
Friday, May 06, 2005
The Arms of Unforgiving
Blood dripping into the fire of madness,
Countless hours I strive to attain chances.
You heard none of my cries when I’m in trouble,
Instead you said goodbye in the year after the other.
Petals of roses lying still on my bed,
The ones you gave on Valentine’s day.
Piercing my heart was your angered message,
That runs through my veins and up to my head.
I lost my sense of belonging in the world today,
Nothing will ever be the same again.
Again I pray for tomorrow’s forgiveness,
In hoping today’s sin will be forgotten.
Stormy weathers may never scare me,
Not even the wolf of the night which comes hunting.
Torn flesh kept in a jar,
Do you know what I’m saying?
Indeed forgotten were the words out from him.
Lie awake naked on soft land,
Greeting the dark with a touch of your hand.
Close your eyes, never see the day light again,
Breath in air, tomorrow will be too late.
Dreams speak meanings one may never comprehend.
Never ask as it never will come to an end.
Do you see a man standing there waving?
That’s Death greeting you with the arms of the unforgiving.
Countless hours I strive to attain chances.
You heard none of my cries when I’m in trouble,
Instead you said goodbye in the year after the other.
Petals of roses lying still on my bed,
The ones you gave on Valentine’s day.
Piercing my heart was your angered message,
That runs through my veins and up to my head.
I lost my sense of belonging in the world today,
Nothing will ever be the same again.
Again I pray for tomorrow’s forgiveness,
In hoping today’s sin will be forgotten.
Stormy weathers may never scare me,
Not even the wolf of the night which comes hunting.
Torn flesh kept in a jar,
Do you know what I’m saying?
Indeed forgotten were the words out from him.
Lie awake naked on soft land,
Greeting the dark with a touch of your hand.
Close your eyes, never see the day light again,
Breath in air, tomorrow will be too late.
Dreams speak meanings one may never comprehend.
Never ask as it never will come to an end.
Do you see a man standing there waving?
That’s Death greeting you with the arms of the unforgiving.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Goodbye 2
This poem somehow just formed in my mind when I was thinking hard on how to tackle my Public Relations Theory and Process (PRL2003) assignment and I just open up a new document on Microsoft Word and started ‘spilling’ it out. So, here goes:
None of your embrace I deserve,
Not in your arms I want to spend time in,
Not the love I need from you now,
But the coldness that reminds me of goodbye.
Sometimes, for certain, I want you here,
But now, I want you far.
Don’t ask me why as I don’t even know,
Your picture is what’s left standing on my shelf.
You said you love me but you don’t know the true me,
You said you miss me without knowing where I’ve been,
You said you need me without knowing what you want,
Stop saying you adore me without knowing who I am.
I need your kindness,
Too late… it’s not taken.
You gave your sympathy,
Which I regret receiving.
On the crossroads once again,
Your pathetic life flashes before my eyes.
You ask why,
I need not say much,
Just a cry of goodbye.
None of your embrace I deserve,
Not in your arms I want to spend time in,
Not the love I need from you now,
But the coldness that reminds me of goodbye.
Sometimes, for certain, I want you here,
But now, I want you far.
Don’t ask me why as I don’t even know,
Your picture is what’s left standing on my shelf.
You said you love me but you don’t know the true me,
You said you miss me without knowing where I’ve been,
You said you need me without knowing what you want,
Stop saying you adore me without knowing who I am.
I need your kindness,
Too late… it’s not taken.
You gave your sympathy,
Which I regret receiving.
On the crossroads once again,
Your pathetic life flashes before my eyes.
You ask why,
I need not say much,
Just a cry of goodbye.