I've been thinking a lot about this statement while researching on why the Treaty of Westphalia does not serve its purpose in the new era.
"In matters of state, he who has the power often has the right, and he who is weak can only with difficulty keep from being wrong in the opinion of the majority of the world"
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
Will there ever be a song...
Is there a song?
A song at all to calm my soul,
My mind, my body, my eternal beating heart,
My shadows of sadness, of pain, of suffering and tears.
Will there be a song?
A song at all,
Of calming melody and of mesmerizing rhythm?
Is there a song,
A song at all?
That brings me back memories of yesterday,
Of tomorrow, of today and of the after life,
Of speechless moments, of crying sadness,
Of troubled storms and of weakening hearts…
Is there a song,
A song at all?
To be heard on a summer’s day,
On a winter’s night,
On a spring afternoon,
And during the night of a pale moonlight.
Is there a song,
A song at all?
Of the dying soul,
Of the crying wolves,
Of eternal flame,
Of great blue skies,
And of solemn moments.
Is there not a song,
A song at all?
Of eastern wars,
Of homeless children,
Of the deaf and the mute,
Of the crying soldier,
Of the mind of the weak,
And of the treacherous smile.
Is there not a song,
A song at all?
Of the one I use to love,
Of the one who loves me most,
Of roses and other flowers,
Of cashmeres and fur coats,
Of life after death,
Down to the bottom of every grave.
Is there not a song,
A song at all?
That makes the old think of the young,
That makes the young think of anything at all,
That makes the eagles sore,
That makes the wolves howl,
That calms the thunderous storm,
That calms eternity at all.
I want a song that reminds me of the poor,
Of the endless war,
Of nature forbidden in Eden,
For the soul of eternal shame.
I just want a song,
That reminds me of you,
Of everyday,
And of every smile you gave,
And of every statement you make.
I want a song that feels my heart with joy,
And calms the worrier of every household.
A song to prove a love worth pursuing,
A life worth enjoying,
And eternity worth living in.
A song at all to calm my soul,
My mind, my body, my eternal beating heart,
My shadows of sadness, of pain, of suffering and tears.
Will there be a song?
A song at all,
Of calming melody and of mesmerizing rhythm?
Is there a song,
A song at all?
That brings me back memories of yesterday,
Of tomorrow, of today and of the after life,
Of speechless moments, of crying sadness,
Of troubled storms and of weakening hearts…
Is there a song,
A song at all?
To be heard on a summer’s day,
On a winter’s night,
On a spring afternoon,
And during the night of a pale moonlight.
Is there a song,
A song at all?
Of the dying soul,
Of the crying wolves,
Of eternal flame,
Of great blue skies,
And of solemn moments.
Is there not a song,
A song at all?
Of eastern wars,
Of homeless children,
Of the deaf and the mute,
Of the crying soldier,
Of the mind of the weak,
And of the treacherous smile.
Is there not a song,
A song at all?
Of the one I use to love,
Of the one who loves me most,
Of roses and other flowers,
Of cashmeres and fur coats,
Of life after death,
Down to the bottom of every grave.
Is there not a song,
A song at all?
That makes the old think of the young,
That makes the young think of anything at all,
That makes the eagles sore,
That makes the wolves howl,
That calms the thunderous storm,
That calms eternity at all.
I want a song that reminds me of the poor,
Of the endless war,
Of nature forbidden in Eden,
For the soul of eternal shame.
I just want a song,
That reminds me of you,
Of everyday,
And of every smile you gave,
And of every statement you make.
I want a song that feels my heart with joy,
And calms the worrier of every household.
A song to prove a love worth pursuing,
A life worth enjoying,
And eternity worth living in.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Poem of Death
Another night; another troubled mind. Don't ask me why i wrote this, it just flow out naturally.
Meet me at the sight of death,
Before the time comes,
We’ll make sure we are dead,
A slow, long dance,
Before the pale moonlight,
A cry of madness within your soul,
Solace we seek in each other’s embrace.
Look onto the earth of treachery,
How we long for peace at the moment.
Look into the eyes of a wild beast,
How we long silence to come in an instant.
Death, a step to eternity,
Before us, a ball of fire resurrected our soul,
Call my name before you step into judgment,
Don’t leave me crying in a corner.
Towards the light now love,
Forgive my sins.
Don’t look back to be searched by me,
As I’ll no longer be there to be seek.
Breathe the air of death,
Tell your soul you’ll be fine,
Just don’t hold back,
As I’ll be gone by now.
Meet me at the sight of death,
Before the time comes,
We’ll make sure we are dead,
A slow, long dance,
Before the pale moonlight,
A cry of madness within your soul,
Solace we seek in each other’s embrace.
Look onto the earth of treachery,
How we long for peace at the moment.
Look into the eyes of a wild beast,
How we long silence to come in an instant.
Death, a step to eternity,
Before us, a ball of fire resurrected our soul,
Call my name before you step into judgment,
Don’t leave me crying in a corner.
Towards the light now love,
Forgive my sins.
Don’t look back to be searched by me,
As I’ll no longer be there to be seek.
Breathe the air of death,
Tell your soul you’ll be fine,
Just don’t hold back,
As I’ll be gone by now.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Fact or Fiction?
The reason why i'm up this late typing away on my blog is because i can't get my body to sleep and i can't get my mind to rest. It has been happening for days now and i think sleeping disorder has been swarming the halls of residence in ways which are so contagious that it doesn't seem to be known as a malady, but more to a hobby. Why do i say so, because noone complains about sleeping disorders, but just take it as it is and finds pleasure in it.
As i'm sitting infront of my computer, with 'The Argentina Reader' before me, trying to find out how civilization has changed the conservative political system in Argentina and whether clash of civilization is a fact or a fiction. I couldn't come out with an answer yet as i don't even know when revolution begins in Argentina. The dates given in books are so dodgy that you do not even know which is the right one. One book may say that it is only in the 1860s that Argentina was known as a nation, and the other will say that Argentinian revolution was somewhere in may in the 19th Century in the early or mid 1800s. The thing about books is that it screw our mind and make us think that assumptions are just part and parcel of life that facts does not matter a single bit.
Say, if someone were to ask me, "so when and where did you last went to shop?" If i were to say... 'Say, last week, either friday or saturday at around noon?' The thing about facts is that it appears to everyone that a need of confirmation needs to be shown in the way we recite a statement. Friday or Saturday is not a stated fact, but more of an assumption on when i did went shopping. If someone were to say... 'I went shopping last friday, 28th April 2006, at 12pm sharp at Fountain Gate'. Now that is a fact stated clearly in black and white. We live life obliging strongly to facts that we became a slave to facts that we assume will bring us to places. Knowing or 'assuming' that if we fail to learn the facts of life, we will never be a better person. How can one determine the perfectability of historical dates and historical narrations? Of one culture, one religion, one tradition and of one faith obliged to the narration of facts in society that blinded us from reality. How does it matter when one is reading another one's story when knowing that we will never master in our own reality? Do we exist as individuals or are we molded by facts which determines our own sense of identity? The nature of truth does not exist anymore as assumptions clouded the earth which gives us a feeling of a factual reality that shapes our thoughts and accelerates the way we generate self-opinions. When does our opinion matters? Of course, it is when one dominant enough to tell us that it matters.
We will never stop evaluating ourselves with the facts of life. How much do we know and how much do we want to know is determined by our own sense of identity and sense of belonging in society. I would like to come to a conclusion, short and simple, by saying that the clash of civilization happens because of facts - the fact that a new society is needed, the fact that the economy of the country needs to be changed, the fact that the political system or structure needs reformation, the fact that the citizens of the country needs to cling on another ones culture, the fact that traditions are conservative and it's obsolete in the now-known 'new era'. One's changes in society are determine by factual evidence by well-known constitutions which shape a person's identity. Now, can one define self-determinism or individualism?
As i'm sitting infront of my computer, with 'The Argentina Reader' before me, trying to find out how civilization has changed the conservative political system in Argentina and whether clash of civilization is a fact or a fiction. I couldn't come out with an answer yet as i don't even know when revolution begins in Argentina. The dates given in books are so dodgy that you do not even know which is the right one. One book may say that it is only in the 1860s that Argentina was known as a nation, and the other will say that Argentinian revolution was somewhere in may in the 19th Century in the early or mid 1800s. The thing about books is that it screw our mind and make us think that assumptions are just part and parcel of life that facts does not matter a single bit.
Say, if someone were to ask me, "so when and where did you last went to shop?" If i were to say... 'Say, last week, either friday or saturday at around noon?' The thing about facts is that it appears to everyone that a need of confirmation needs to be shown in the way we recite a statement. Friday or Saturday is not a stated fact, but more of an assumption on when i did went shopping. If someone were to say... 'I went shopping last friday, 28th April 2006, at 12pm sharp at Fountain Gate'. Now that is a fact stated clearly in black and white. We live life obliging strongly to facts that we became a slave to facts that we assume will bring us to places. Knowing or 'assuming' that if we fail to learn the facts of life, we will never be a better person. How can one determine the perfectability of historical dates and historical narrations? Of one culture, one religion, one tradition and of one faith obliged to the narration of facts in society that blinded us from reality. How does it matter when one is reading another one's story when knowing that we will never master in our own reality? Do we exist as individuals or are we molded by facts which determines our own sense of identity? The nature of truth does not exist anymore as assumptions clouded the earth which gives us a feeling of a factual reality that shapes our thoughts and accelerates the way we generate self-opinions. When does our opinion matters? Of course, it is when one dominant enough to tell us that it matters.
We will never stop evaluating ourselves with the facts of life. How much do we know and how much do we want to know is determined by our own sense of identity and sense of belonging in society. I would like to come to a conclusion, short and simple, by saying that the clash of civilization happens because of facts - the fact that a new society is needed, the fact that the economy of the country needs to be changed, the fact that the political system or structure needs reformation, the fact that the citizens of the country needs to cling on another ones culture, the fact that traditions are conservative and it's obsolete in the now-known 'new era'. One's changes in society are determine by factual evidence by well-known constitutions which shape a person's identity. Now, can one define self-determinism or individualism?
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Chernobyl Legacy
What's stress? When some couldn't even feel stress?
What's life? When some couldn't see one determined for them?
What's suicide? When some has left without noticing death?
What's love? When some couldn't even feel it.
What's happiness? When some couldn't even have it.
What's beauty? When one couldn't even define it.
What's the future? When one couldn't even see it before their eyes.
Chernobyl Legacy : http://todayspictures.slate.com/inmotion/essay%5Fchernobyl/?GT1=8019
What's life? When some couldn't see one determined for them?
What's suicide? When some has left without noticing death?
What's love? When some couldn't even feel it.
What's happiness? When some couldn't even have it.
What's beauty? When one couldn't even define it.
What's the future? When one couldn't even see it before their eyes.
Chernobyl Legacy : http://todayspictures.slate.com/inmotion/essay%5Fchernobyl/?GT1=8019
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Classical music - What is life anyway?
Classical music is really beautiful. It protrays the life of unspoken talent and also gave voice to what was once beautiful in life. However, classical music has been undermined by the anguished and unworthy generation. Was life easy during the period before various revolutionary changes? Was the trouble of life unspoken before and conspicuous today? As i was listening to a ballade by Chopin known as 'Raindrops', i began my ramblings...
Life's so troublesome when you have people whom you can never get along with. Life is also stressful when you meet people who shows different characters everytime that you'll never know which is their trueself. Life is stressful when you know you can never depend on anyone but yourself and your instincts. Life is much more stressful when you know a person can have 100 different personalities to decieve you.
People are just so hard to get along with sometimes. Especially those who thinks they are all that and also those who hides from the world... their depression; their heartache; their happiness; their loneliness; their oblivion; and their troubled mind. Whenever you show how much you care about them, they just push you right into the corner of darkness and have your shadow walk all over you. No matter how hard you try to understand someone, their true colours never show until the day you think you know them good enough to gain their trust, a lie is just lingering around the corner. Life's a bore when you know no matter how hard you try to escape from the pain of striken reality, it hunts you down like a hawk to its prey.
My heart cries alone all night to understand how a human mind works. How can one spend so much time lingering in moments of sadness and loneliness? How can one juggle with various personalities at once? How can one say that she/he is fine, when she/he is not? It is precarious to know that no matter how much your mind ponders on things like these, nothing seems to be the right answer to the mentioned questions. There is nothing wrong to hide an unspoken life from the world, but it is just tiresome to have one feel that they are apart of it.
Another night where my insomnia is getting to my head; another night where sleep is all i need but can never have; another night of terrible heartache and lonesomeness; another night with the radio on but with no suiting songs to listen to; another night feeling hopeless; another night of agony and silence which needs to be fought off. I feel hopeless; I feel a need to cry to the world to change their every being. Can one show their true innocence before the eyes of the beholder? Life's complicated enough and now, we have to face the wonders of each human being we come to be in contact with.
The problem with life is that nothing seems real enough to feel, to touch or even to hold. Everything seems to be an illusion of the soul and to the eye. What's real is what you can feel, for what you thought you felt is just an illusion of the heart. What you think you saw was just another hallusination right before your eyes. The next day when you get up from sleep, you'll finally find out what is it like to leave yesterday and start a brand new day. Your body may have left yesterday, but your soul and mind are still pondering on what happened just the day before. Nothing can be momentarily, nothing can be eternal as well. It is because of the reality before the eyes that we fear of each days' happenings around us. We fear of what's fearless, we fear of what's frightful, and what we fear most is what's before us.
Nothing is momentarily... absolutely nothing... not memories, not a dream, not a prayer nor a certain sadness felt. What is momentarily is a smile of one dearest to you which you can never have the chance to see it once again.
Life's so troublesome when you have people whom you can never get along with. Life is also stressful when you meet people who shows different characters everytime that you'll never know which is their trueself. Life is stressful when you know you can never depend on anyone but yourself and your instincts. Life is much more stressful when you know a person can have 100 different personalities to decieve you.
People are just so hard to get along with sometimes. Especially those who thinks they are all that and also those who hides from the world... their depression; their heartache; their happiness; their loneliness; their oblivion; and their troubled mind. Whenever you show how much you care about them, they just push you right into the corner of darkness and have your shadow walk all over you. No matter how hard you try to understand someone, their true colours never show until the day you think you know them good enough to gain their trust, a lie is just lingering around the corner. Life's a bore when you know no matter how hard you try to escape from the pain of striken reality, it hunts you down like a hawk to its prey.
My heart cries alone all night to understand how a human mind works. How can one spend so much time lingering in moments of sadness and loneliness? How can one juggle with various personalities at once? How can one say that she/he is fine, when she/he is not? It is precarious to know that no matter how much your mind ponders on things like these, nothing seems to be the right answer to the mentioned questions. There is nothing wrong to hide an unspoken life from the world, but it is just tiresome to have one feel that they are apart of it.
Another night where my insomnia is getting to my head; another night where sleep is all i need but can never have; another night of terrible heartache and lonesomeness; another night with the radio on but with no suiting songs to listen to; another night feeling hopeless; another night of agony and silence which needs to be fought off. I feel hopeless; I feel a need to cry to the world to change their every being. Can one show their true innocence before the eyes of the beholder? Life's complicated enough and now, we have to face the wonders of each human being we come to be in contact with.
The problem with life is that nothing seems real enough to feel, to touch or even to hold. Everything seems to be an illusion of the soul and to the eye. What's real is what you can feel, for what you thought you felt is just an illusion of the heart. What you think you saw was just another hallusination right before your eyes. The next day when you get up from sleep, you'll finally find out what is it like to leave yesterday and start a brand new day. Your body may have left yesterday, but your soul and mind are still pondering on what happened just the day before. Nothing can be momentarily, nothing can be eternal as well. It is because of the reality before the eyes that we fear of each days' happenings around us. We fear of what's fearless, we fear of what's frightful, and what we fear most is what's before us.
Nothing is momentarily... absolutely nothing... not memories, not a dream, not a prayer nor a certain sadness felt. What is momentarily is a smile of one dearest to you which you can never have the chance to see it once again.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Secrets... life's stressful
I came to know the fact that the most interesting thing in life is a secret or a story untold. And once told, everyone's a victim to a certain thought. A secret keeps someone away from a smile; a secret keeps someone away from the truth; and sadly, secret keeps someone away from a long lasting friendship. One may quarrel over petty issues or concerns, but one can never tolerate an unfold secret.
Secret, as defined in the dictionary, not known or seen; not meant to be known or seen. Everyone keeps a little part of themselves from the world, but how long can that little secret be kept away from society; away from a friend; away from a loved one; or even away from oneself. A secret being revolved around the unconcious mind of another just makes them suspicious to the people around them. However, life without a secret makes a person perfect. One may argue that it does. To me, a secret is what keeps a person striving for survival. As long as it is unknown to the world, days pass by like just any other.
Just today that i've only find out the deepest darkest secret in me which has been within me for the longest time. I'm not talking about my superego trying to over take my body, but more to my mind's trying to have me concentrate on something much more important than what i am doing in my life right now. As much as i would like to share, but i guess it is only a matter of months in order for me to finally come face to face with my biggest hidden secret. The fear of life and a life that i fear most might come true.
Well... i wouldn't want to make my post a bore. I guess the reason for my not updating my blog is that i've lost interest in posting up a new post every now and then. Or should i say, i've run out of interesting things to say. Well, i would love to write an update of my life in Australia but i don't think it is necessary for the time being as everyone knows i'm well and that i'll only be here for a year. Well, sadly, i did not get the chance to go to the commonwealth games as i do not have the money to get tickets. When i did have the money, the tickets were all sold out. Am i unlucky or what? I'll definately be going for the AFL, NRL, and also one of the stand up comedies. I've been trying to search for a job here, but seems to me like they aren't very keen in hiring international students.
Alright, need to get back to my research. I need to get things done but i do not have the motivation to do so and i don't have the inspiration that i have back home to do things. Argh!
Secret, as defined in the dictionary, not known or seen; not meant to be known or seen. Everyone keeps a little part of themselves from the world, but how long can that little secret be kept away from society; away from a friend; away from a loved one; or even away from oneself. A secret being revolved around the unconcious mind of another just makes them suspicious to the people around them. However, life without a secret makes a person perfect. One may argue that it does. To me, a secret is what keeps a person striving for survival. As long as it is unknown to the world, days pass by like just any other.
Just today that i've only find out the deepest darkest secret in me which has been within me for the longest time. I'm not talking about my superego trying to over take my body, but more to my mind's trying to have me concentrate on something much more important than what i am doing in my life right now. As much as i would like to share, but i guess it is only a matter of months in order for me to finally come face to face with my biggest hidden secret. The fear of life and a life that i fear most might come true.
Well... i wouldn't want to make my post a bore. I guess the reason for my not updating my blog is that i've lost interest in posting up a new post every now and then. Or should i say, i've run out of interesting things to say. Well, i would love to write an update of my life in Australia but i don't think it is necessary for the time being as everyone knows i'm well and that i'll only be here for a year. Well, sadly, i did not get the chance to go to the commonwealth games as i do not have the money to get tickets. When i did have the money, the tickets were all sold out. Am i unlucky or what? I'll definately be going for the AFL, NRL, and also one of the stand up comedies. I've been trying to search for a job here, but seems to me like they aren't very keen in hiring international students.
Alright, need to get back to my research. I need to get things done but i do not have the motivation to do so and i don't have the inspiration that i have back home to do things. Argh!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
A Parished Woman
The life of a woman has been vanquished,
No more does she know of grace and virtue,
No more does she know of gratitude and kindness,
No more does she know the meaning of true laughter.
Before days have passed she knew no trouble,
Forbidden to see the devilish of men,
Today, before her eyes, evil rest upon her.
Making the days hard to understand for her own purpose.
Touches are tame,
Touches knew no nonsense,
Grace within a woman,
Knew not a man of foolishness.
Raging words fired through her mouth,
Nonsense within conspicuous as it sounds,
Through it all she failed all she had,
Was eternal foolishness she now knows somehow.
No more does she know of grace and virtue,
No more does she know of gratitude and kindness,
No more does she know the meaning of true laughter.
Before days have passed she knew no trouble,
Forbidden to see the devilish of men,
Today, before her eyes, evil rest upon her.
Making the days hard to understand for her own purpose.
Touches are tame,
Touches knew no nonsense,
Grace within a woman,
Knew not a man of foolishness.
Raging words fired through her mouth,
Nonsense within conspicuous as it sounds,
Through it all she failed all she had,
Was eternal foolishness she now knows somehow.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Angel
Influenced to be written by a friend who is going through a time of sorrow.
Bring me an angel, who sings of mercy and kindness,
The angel who brought the hidden stars away from the universe,
The angel who converse of a speech of a romantic novel,
The angel who brought life to a table of speechlessness.
I want to stand on a cliff that looks to the ocean,
To dream of life of its bitterness and sweetness,
To taste freedom within a distance,
To seek freedom among the voices of the silent ocean.
An angel who speaks of forever,
Of endless cries of happiness,
Of endless calls for joyfulness,
A dream came through from the eyes of the angel.
Weakness falls upon the strength of togetherness,
Light the fire that pales the endless darkness,
Forever seemed far from a cry of sorrow,
Tomorrow’s voice will never be heard, ever.
Spread my wings I want to fly,
Up to the mountains where my name’s craved.
To the earth and back,
To the moon and around,
Sing my angel as it will never hurt till now.
Break your wings, stomp it hard,
I never want to see a single frown.
Break your voice, soar your throat,
Forever has now been an endless cry.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Drinking Soda Out of a Can?
I am not sure how far this is true but hope that you guys will be extra careful when drinking soda out of a can.
This incident happened recently in Delhi and we need to be even more careful everywhere. A woman went boating one Sunday, taking with her some cans of coke. On Monday she was taken into ICU and on Wednesday she died. The autopsy revealed a certain germ Leptospira caused by the can of coke from which she had drunk, not using a glass. A test showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis. Rat urine contains toxic and deadly substances. It is recommended to clean the upper part of soda cans before drinking out of them as they have been stocked in warehouses and transported straight the shops without being cleaned. A study in Spain showed that the tops of soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets i.e. full of germs and bacteria. So! to wash them with water is advised before making any contact with mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident. Remember to always use a glass or a straw and pass this on to everyone you care about.
This incident happened recently in Delhi and we need to be even more careful everywhere. A woman went boating one Sunday, taking with her some cans of coke. On Monday she was taken into ICU and on Wednesday she died. The autopsy revealed a certain germ Leptospira caused by the can of coke from which she had drunk, not using a glass. A test showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis. Rat urine contains toxic and deadly substances. It is recommended to clean the upper part of soda cans before drinking out of them as they have been stocked in warehouses and transported straight the shops without being cleaned. A study in Spain showed that the tops of soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets i.e. full of germs and bacteria. So! to wash them with water is advised before making any contact with mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident. Remember to always use a glass or a straw and pass this on to everyone you care about.
Monday, February 06, 2006
I do not know what to feel at this very moment. I do not fill loved, trusted or furthermore, i do not even feel wanted. All i feel is that i need to break free from whatever feelings i'm having within me. Being loved is an illusion that will never turn into a reality. When someone say he or she loves you, it only means a matter of years and never eternal. It is almost like i have a pessimistic view on love and yes indeed, i do. I do not believe first love will last to be forever. I do not believe one could ever be satisfied with only one lover in their life. It's just us humans to be asking for more, and when we come to the part where we fear most, marriage, only then we'll start thinking on whether or not he or she is the one.
I just sit and think back of the days when i'm still single. The life that i've come to miss and wish that i could bring it with me further. When i fell inlove, i thought it would be a turning point for me. From lonliness to having a companion, from sadness to happiness. What i thought i could have turned out to be another story. It is not that i'm not happy with whoever i'm with now, it is more to me not being sure whether i am certain he is the one. Why do i still feel sadness when a companion promise you happiness? Why do i still feel loneliness when a companion is suppose to keep you company? Why do i feel unappreciated when my love has always been trying to commit? Love is never a one way communication. Love is never something tame, but hazardous when it comes to a certain stage.
I feel let down at times when things do not go my way. I wish things could be done much perfectly than what i have now. Exactly, we can never always get anything and everything we want. Dwelling on those possibilities are just mere dissappointments. I wonder what it could be like if there is no such thing as love. It may be chaos, but it would be much better to not have the feeling and feel let down after a heart is broken.
The most cruel feeling to have is to want your love to love you the way you wanted him/her to. It's a selfish thought but it is what everyone wants and needs. I want him to love me the way i want him to, but that would not be the case cause if it were to happen, then we would not be loving each other anymore but more towards competing to fulfill each others wants and needs. It is much better to sit back and observe how a person so dear to you can love you the way he thinks is best. And if he fail to fulfill whatever you wish he could, it is just life then as everyone is never perfect.
I have never fell in love so deeply with someone. And when i do, i know the taste of bitterness and sweetness while being in a relationship. It sucks but it is just the parcel of life that we need to go through. I'll learn how to love again if i need to. I'll learn how to survive without him being by my side as i have to. The most important thing, i'll learn the true meaning of love before i settle for eternity.
I just sit and think back of the days when i'm still single. The life that i've come to miss and wish that i could bring it with me further. When i fell inlove, i thought it would be a turning point for me. From lonliness to having a companion, from sadness to happiness. What i thought i could have turned out to be another story. It is not that i'm not happy with whoever i'm with now, it is more to me not being sure whether i am certain he is the one. Why do i still feel sadness when a companion promise you happiness? Why do i still feel loneliness when a companion is suppose to keep you company? Why do i feel unappreciated when my love has always been trying to commit? Love is never a one way communication. Love is never something tame, but hazardous when it comes to a certain stage.
I feel let down at times when things do not go my way. I wish things could be done much perfectly than what i have now. Exactly, we can never always get anything and everything we want. Dwelling on those possibilities are just mere dissappointments. I wonder what it could be like if there is no such thing as love. It may be chaos, but it would be much better to not have the feeling and feel let down after a heart is broken.
The most cruel feeling to have is to want your love to love you the way you wanted him/her to. It's a selfish thought but it is what everyone wants and needs. I want him to love me the way i want him to, but that would not be the case cause if it were to happen, then we would not be loving each other anymore but more towards competing to fulfill each others wants and needs. It is much better to sit back and observe how a person so dear to you can love you the way he thinks is best. And if he fail to fulfill whatever you wish he could, it is just life then as everyone is never perfect.
I have never fell in love so deeply with someone. And when i do, i know the taste of bitterness and sweetness while being in a relationship. It sucks but it is just the parcel of life that we need to go through. I'll learn how to love again if i need to. I'll learn how to survive without him being by my side as i have to. The most important thing, i'll learn the true meaning of love before i settle for eternity.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Will I Survive?
I woke up pretty early this morning to the sound of my alarm clock. As I sat up in bed, I do not know what I would expect today. Of course, it will be good to expect something coming from every corner of our life, but sometimes, things should be better stayed unexpected.
As I look at the time, I only realized it was 5 am in the morning. Checking what the fuss was all about, I read the note I made to myself on the electronic reminder in my hand phone. Ah, expected reminder. Beginning of the week, I’ve, thousand times, reminded myself of my departure date to Australia. I still do not know what I should expect in a new, foreign country. I’m as nervous as any others who will be joining me in Australia.
I don’t want another repetition of my entry titled ‘Reminiscence is bliss’, I just want to calm down and think positive of what I’ll be expecting in a foreign country. Of course, there are many things on my mind which I wish to do. First of all, I would really want to tackle my biggest fear in life – heights! Looking down from a 50 story building will not do, but I guess bunji jumping will help. I know it may sound a little frantic coming from someone who’s afraid of heights, but I do not know of other ways to tackle this fear.
I want to go to Adelaide… ALONE! I always want to try traveling long distance alone, without anyone by my side. It was hard to find a chance to travel around back here as parents and relatives are my restrictions. However, I would just keep my mouth shut and not tell anyone when I’m in Australia. I want to see the world alone, meet unexpected acquaintances, talk to people from different races, and taste special Australian cuisine which could be rarely tasted in Malaysia.
I’ve decided to work and study at the same time when I’m there in Australia. I thought of actually interning with Red Cross. After two months of interning with UNHCR, I finally found out that my interest was always on humanitarian issues. After observing my supervisor attending to her work as a PR person, I realized that I have so much to learn and experience. I just don’t want to give up my chances of working in Australia as well as my chances of traveling around alone.
I really hope and pray I can work through the year alone, without my closest friends to support me all the way; without my boyfriend to give me comfort; without my parents to provide me with daily necessities, and most of all, without restrictions on where to go and where not to. I’m on my own in a foreign land… could I survive, I shall see…
As I look at the time, I only realized it was 5 am in the morning. Checking what the fuss was all about, I read the note I made to myself on the electronic reminder in my hand phone. Ah, expected reminder. Beginning of the week, I’ve, thousand times, reminded myself of my departure date to Australia. I still do not know what I should expect in a new, foreign country. I’m as nervous as any others who will be joining me in Australia.
I don’t want another repetition of my entry titled ‘Reminiscence is bliss’, I just want to calm down and think positive of what I’ll be expecting in a foreign country. Of course, there are many things on my mind which I wish to do. First of all, I would really want to tackle my biggest fear in life – heights! Looking down from a 50 story building will not do, but I guess bunji jumping will help. I know it may sound a little frantic coming from someone who’s afraid of heights, but I do not know of other ways to tackle this fear.
I want to go to Adelaide… ALONE! I always want to try traveling long distance alone, without anyone by my side. It was hard to find a chance to travel around back here as parents and relatives are my restrictions. However, I would just keep my mouth shut and not tell anyone when I’m in Australia. I want to see the world alone, meet unexpected acquaintances, talk to people from different races, and taste special Australian cuisine which could be rarely tasted in Malaysia.
I’ve decided to work and study at the same time when I’m there in Australia. I thought of actually interning with Red Cross. After two months of interning with UNHCR, I finally found out that my interest was always on humanitarian issues. After observing my supervisor attending to her work as a PR person, I realized that I have so much to learn and experience. I just don’t want to give up my chances of working in Australia as well as my chances of traveling around alone.
I really hope and pray I can work through the year alone, without my closest friends to support me all the way; without my boyfriend to give me comfort; without my parents to provide me with daily necessities, and most of all, without restrictions on where to go and where not to. I’m on my own in a foreign land… could I survive, I shall see…
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Affirmation
I truly think this is one of the best song that Savage Garden ever came up with. The lyric is truly remarkable. One of the best song i've ever heard as well and hopefully most of you agree with me.
Artist: Savage Garden
Song Titile: Affirmation
I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe you’re most attractive features are your heart and soul.
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
Artist: Savage Garden
Song Titile: Affirmation
I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe you’re most attractive features are your heart and soul.
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Checklist
Before i leave to Australia, there are things which i've thoroughly observed during my days, months and years in Malaysia. It's cool to know that Malaysian hold strongly to their 'truly Asia' motto and it's impossible to have Malaysian change their attitudes towards certain issues. Great! At least true Malaysian knows what it means to scream out 'Malaysia Boleh'. Well, on second thoughts, i was just wondering, should it be 'Malaysia Boleh' or 'Malaysia Mana Boleh'.
Here is a checklist on what does it takes to be a true Malaysian. This checklist is divided by a few different catagories.
1. You are a true Malaysian if....
(In the PUTRA LRT)
a) you pretend to que up. And when the train comes, you zoom pass everyone in line to get a sit on the nearest empty seats available. (2 points)
b) you do not care whether if there's someone behind you. You flip your hair as if you are starring in a shampoo commercial. Honestly, your hair stinks. (2 points + 2 points bonus)
c) you do not care if there's anyone standing behind you. You step on their feet and pretend nothing happened. (2 points + 2 points bonus)
d) you do not look around to see whether there are any disable or elderly people, nor do you care to aknowledge the woman standing in front of you is pregnant. As long as you are comfortable in your seat, nothing else matters. (2 points + 3 points bonus)
e) you speak as if there is no tomorrow. The Putra LRT is like your home and you talk in a voice as if everyone around you are family. (2 points + 2 points bonus)
f) you know the train is fool, but you still want to stuck your fat arse into it. (2 points + 4 points).
2. You are a true Malaysian when you...
(In shopping malls)
a) walk as if you are the queen of the shopping mall or supermarket. Translation: You walk slowly without knowing there are people behind you. (4 points)
b) you scream out loud so that everyone can hear ... 'wow, it's 70% off'!!' . The eyes can see, so there is no need for further information. (2 points + 2 points bonus)
c) dress up really nicely to impress everyone in the shopping mall. Translation: your spare tyres are conspicuous and you don't give a damn about those extra pounds you've put on. (2 points)
d) you think you own the walkway of the shopping mall. Translation: you bang into everyone that walks in your way without even having the courtesy of saying 'excuse me'. Is that so hard to do? (2 points + 4 points bonus)
3. You are a true Malaysian when you
(in the cinema)
a) bring in toddlers who have no seat-trainning or silence-when-you-are-in-the-movies tranning. They walk around, jump, scream, cry and whatever you can think of, but you don't give a damn cause you think they are so cute and just an infant. (2 points + 10 points bonus)
b) scream loudly when you see a ghost coming on screen... and .... swear at the top of your lungs! (2 points + 5 points bonus)
c) talk on the handphone, pretending noone's around you. (2 points + 3 points bonus)
d) munch on your popcorn, junk food, slurp on your drink and crunching your chocolate rappers without concern of the noise that you are contributing to the surroundings. (2 points + 3 points bonus)
e) shake your legs without knowing that you are disturbing the one in front of you, beside you and well, behind you (to a certain extent). (2 points)
f) come in fashionably late and stand in the middle of the path, checking out how far the movie went and how much you've missed before coming in an hour late. (2 points+4 points)
g) make out in the cinema like no body's business. (5 points)
4. You are a true Malaysian when you
(on the road)
a) don't even bother to put on your car signal to indicate which side you'll be turning into. (2 points)
b) pretend that your Proton Wira or Proton Satria is a racing car and drive at a speed of 120 - 160 kmh. (2 points)
c) drive really slowly (30-50kmh) on a freeway knowing that there are no cars infront of you. (2 points + 3 points for being inconsiderate)
d) flashes the car infront of you when you are a few feet away, not even close to banging. It's like a car can just slip in infront of you. (2 points + 3 points)
e) put on a signal without realising that you are misleading people into thinking you'll be zooming to the right or the left. And when you notice it, you left a million frustrated people who were considerate enough to drive slowly, thinking that you'll do a left or right turn any time soon. (2 points + 6 points)
f) zoom pass a right light or drives real slowly when you see the green light a head of you. (2 points + 10 points bonus)
g) occupy 2 lanes without knowing that you frustrate people behind you. (3 points)
5. You are a true Malaysian when you...
(in a parking lot)
a) park at the nearest illegal parking space so that you don't have to walk a distance. (Found mostly in shopping malls, LRT stations and on the roadside). (2 points + additional 5 points)
b) double park not even giving a damn whether the car next to you or infront of you will be getting out soon. (4 points)
c) snatch a parking space when it belongs to a patiently-waiting driver who comes in the right direction. Obviously, you were from the wrong direction and you do not even give a damn. (2 points + 4 points additional for being superb drivers)
d) do not even give a damn whose car you are blocking. You just park at your own risk and knowing that your car was brutally 'terrorized' after you come back from your shopping. Guess what, you have noone but yourself to blame. (5 points + 10 addtitional points)
See, being a true Malaysian just means that everything we do, we tend to ignore the consequences. We do not care the people we've irritated, annoyed or angered. We care for ourselves and that is what matters most in life. Hey, last but not least, it is a dog eat dog world and there is no such thing as caring and sharing in the Malaysian dictionary. As foreigners come into the country, we show peace and our smiles right up to our faces, that is all it matters. After they are gone, we just make sure they are fine with the hospitality, and know what, tomorrow, we'll be the true Malaysians again who are forever ignorant and least caring.
Keep up the good work Malaysians.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Town
Just as the town said goodbye,
I turned to the other side,
Saw your face just in time,
Not a sound you made,
But a lonely cry.
I walked my way back to the start,
No I can’t,
Impossible as now it sounds,
But true to heart,
Never once I left a single word before goodbye.
Nonsense,
The town I left behind.
Could it be no one’s alive by the time I got around?
Nonsense,
It’s quite now inside,
I failed to see the weakness in this town.
So much for the memories of this town,
It seems I lost my favorite spot,
No need to look back,
As now everything is lost.
I want back my town,
My love,
My forever…
I turned to the other side,
Saw your face just in time,
Not a sound you made,
But a lonely cry.
I walked my way back to the start,
No I can’t,
Impossible as now it sounds,
But true to heart,
Never once I left a single word before goodbye.
Nonsense,
The town I left behind.
Could it be no one’s alive by the time I got around?
Nonsense,
It’s quite now inside,
I failed to see the weakness in this town.
So much for the memories of this town,
It seems I lost my favorite spot,
No need to look back,
As now everything is lost.
I want back my town,
My love,
My forever…
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
My Laptop's Gone!
I would like to write another episode of dumb drivers on the road and i was just thinking to myself, "hey, if i do, most of us will get insulted as we are dumb drivers in one way or another". Well, but this does not stop me from saying that Malaysian drivers need to work on their driving habits and hopefully that they know the simple rules before driving on the road.
Robbery and theft are on the rise now. I guess it's because of the christmas season where most Malaysians are getting their handsome payments and are obvious targets to many of the robbers and theives out there. My uncle was a victim of theft the other day when he was in Taman Tun. Today, my aunt's house was broken into and my laptop has been stolen. It's pretty horrendous to know that robbery and thefts are part and parcel of the Malaysian culture. Scary as it seems but it's just life and it does go on whether or not it's an acceptable deed.
Robbery and theft are on the rise now. I guess it's because of the christmas season where most Malaysians are getting their handsome payments and are obvious targets to many of the robbers and theives out there. My uncle was a victim of theft the other day when he was in Taman Tun. Today, my aunt's house was broken into and my laptop has been stolen. It's pretty horrendous to know that robbery and thefts are part and parcel of the Malaysian culture. Scary as it seems but it's just life and it does go on whether or not it's an acceptable deed.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Reminiscence is bliss
There are many things holding me back. Nothing… no memories I wish to let go at the moment. Every experienced that I’ve lived through from the days of my college years till the time I work, nothing… absolutely nothing that I wish to forget. Maybe some burden memories or two, but the others, there are just too many, are just pure sweetness and enjoyment.
Note: I’ll be flying off to Australia soon.
It’s a little disturbing to know what I’ll miss when I’m gone.
Zeck: My most lovable, special one who has and will still be there for me even though the distance between us will be much more wider for the months or even years to come. However, assurance could be made that my love will never fade.
Eddie: I seriously miss you being in my car and also the times we spent talking to each other about you-know-what. However, we have not been doing that that often now. I was so glad you agreed to come watch Harry Potter with Zeck and I.
Fikri: The King of Lame has somehow never fail to brighten up my day every morning/afternoon/ even at night. Will miss all the lame jokes you’ve made, and keep most of them in heart and, hopefully, will never forget them.
(Just want to thank you for inviting me to your open house, and I’m really sorry, again, that I couldn’t make it. Guess what, among my Malay friends, you are the first who actually called to invite me to your open house. Thank you so much, I really do feel appreciated.)
Eva: My most in need friend, always on the demand. Happy to have gotten close to you after a semester of trying to get to know each other and 3 semester for being stuck in the same, stuffy lecture hall. It is great hanging out with you, especially when Zeck, Yasir and Ayushna are there to bitch endlessly (okay, it’s a bit too much to use that word, but what the hack… that’s what we do most of the time!).
(It’s the first time being invited to a birthday party… again, I feel very appreciated. However, sad to say that I won’t be there and hope that you’ll have a great birthday! But, I will make it up to you, don’t you fret!)
Kel Li: My sweetheart. It has been great getting to know you better after the Penang trip and YES! I still want to go on a vacation like the good old times. This time, hopefully we can stay a little longer (1 week). Hopefully you’ll be able to come to Aussie soon and there will be much bonding!
Simon: Thanks for being there whenever I want someone to talk to. However, it has been long since we last have a thorough conversation about God. Call me and fill me in about what you’ve find out further about the Bible. I would so love to listen!
Will I ever get to embrace life in Australia when life here is so fulfilling and that leaving it somehow seem so difficult all of a sudden. Firstly, I was so eager to take the next step into a life that I will soon embrace, and the past that I will soon try not to forget. However, memories just tails from behind, and now, it is side by side as I stand. I want to smile at those memories and put them in heart and mind, but besides of smiling, I ended up crying. I cried because I know, after another 2 months, I’ll have to say goodbye to what is now and look forward to what’s next. Some may think I’m being silly, but it’s hard to let go of something that was once yours and now, they are just memories for you to dwell on and hopefully that there will come a day, with God’s approval, that I can live through my memories once again.
Life in Monash wasn’t easy, nor was it tough. There were some stressful moments; happy moments; agonizing moments, and enjoyment. Whatever it is, it just kept me going and it mold me into a better person. From a person from a little town right to the North of KL, to a city girl who acknowledge the fact of being book-smart is never enough; from a person who does not have many friends, to someone who cherished every moment available to be together with a bunch of people who share common interests; from someone who thought that love was just an illusion that never existed in life, but ended up falling for someone lovable and passionate and lastly, from someone who thinks that life is all about looking at the four walls somehow just came out of that conservative space and into the world of busy streets, endless chatters and just have a leisurely walk in a park with a friend or enjoying lunch in a mall.
There are just so much I want to write down as I sat here, near the window that I truly love looking out towards an old tree where orangey-yellowish flower blossoms, I’m just reminiscing back when I first came into Monash. An amateur who doesn’t even know Chillies, T.G.I Fridays, or even Italianis existed till the day I step foot into Monash. It may seem humorous, but I’m serious. Wherever the wind may take me, all I know is, it will never blow my memories away!
Note: I’ll be flying off to Australia soon.
It’s a little disturbing to know what I’ll miss when I’m gone.
Zeck: My most lovable, special one who has and will still be there for me even though the distance between us will be much more wider for the months or even years to come. However, assurance could be made that my love will never fade.
Eddie: I seriously miss you being in my car and also the times we spent talking to each other about you-know-what. However, we have not been doing that that often now. I was so glad you agreed to come watch Harry Potter with Zeck and I.
Fikri: The King of Lame has somehow never fail to brighten up my day every morning/afternoon/ even at night. Will miss all the lame jokes you’ve made, and keep most of them in heart and, hopefully, will never forget them.
(Just want to thank you for inviting me to your open house, and I’m really sorry, again, that I couldn’t make it. Guess what, among my Malay friends, you are the first who actually called to invite me to your open house. Thank you so much, I really do feel appreciated.)
Eva: My most in need friend, always on the demand. Happy to have gotten close to you after a semester of trying to get to know each other and 3 semester for being stuck in the same, stuffy lecture hall. It is great hanging out with you, especially when Zeck, Yasir and Ayushna are there to bitch endlessly (okay, it’s a bit too much to use that word, but what the hack… that’s what we do most of the time!).
(It’s the first time being invited to a birthday party… again, I feel very appreciated. However, sad to say that I won’t be there and hope that you’ll have a great birthday! But, I will make it up to you, don’t you fret!)
Kel Li: My sweetheart. It has been great getting to know you better after the Penang trip and YES! I still want to go on a vacation like the good old times. This time, hopefully we can stay a little longer (1 week). Hopefully you’ll be able to come to Aussie soon and there will be much bonding!
Simon: Thanks for being there whenever I want someone to talk to. However, it has been long since we last have a thorough conversation about God. Call me and fill me in about what you’ve find out further about the Bible. I would so love to listen!
Will I ever get to embrace life in Australia when life here is so fulfilling and that leaving it somehow seem so difficult all of a sudden. Firstly, I was so eager to take the next step into a life that I will soon embrace, and the past that I will soon try not to forget. However, memories just tails from behind, and now, it is side by side as I stand. I want to smile at those memories and put them in heart and mind, but besides of smiling, I ended up crying. I cried because I know, after another 2 months, I’ll have to say goodbye to what is now and look forward to what’s next. Some may think I’m being silly, but it’s hard to let go of something that was once yours and now, they are just memories for you to dwell on and hopefully that there will come a day, with God’s approval, that I can live through my memories once again.
Life in Monash wasn’t easy, nor was it tough. There were some stressful moments; happy moments; agonizing moments, and enjoyment. Whatever it is, it just kept me going and it mold me into a better person. From a person from a little town right to the North of KL, to a city girl who acknowledge the fact of being book-smart is never enough; from a person who does not have many friends, to someone who cherished every moment available to be together with a bunch of people who share common interests; from someone who thought that love was just an illusion that never existed in life, but ended up falling for someone lovable and passionate and lastly, from someone who thinks that life is all about looking at the four walls somehow just came out of that conservative space and into the world of busy streets, endless chatters and just have a leisurely walk in a park with a friend or enjoying lunch in a mall.
There are just so much I want to write down as I sat here, near the window that I truly love looking out towards an old tree where orangey-yellowish flower blossoms, I’m just reminiscing back when I first came into Monash. An amateur who doesn’t even know Chillies, T.G.I Fridays, or even Italianis existed till the day I step foot into Monash. It may seem humorous, but I’m serious. Wherever the wind may take me, all I know is, it will never blow my memories away!
Thursday, November 17, 2005
EXP: Kampung Chang Lama
I wanted so much to write about my experience in Kampung Chang Lama (Orang Asli Village in Bidor), but, i couldn't find much time as i'm working in the morning and fast asleep during the evening. Well, since that my supervisor is not here to take a peak on what i'm doing, so i guess i'll just take this golden apportunity to write a thing or two.
Well, it has been a really great experience for me and i thank Sze Ning for going through all the trouble to get us there for a visit.
I guess every single detail has been jotted down by Aaron in his blog (www.xanga.com/cyclonewipeout). Well, as i've said earlier on, it has been a great experience and i guess words wouldn't express how much i feel for the village. Just imagine living in a place where cold water is all you get when you want a bath and the rumah adat will be your only choice of accomodation. I must say that i love it there... being someone who truly adores nature, i love the sounds of insects coming out to play at night, and on early mornings, you'll hear the chickens crow as a wake up call at around 5.30 in the morning, then at 6.30 again. You'll never have the chance to hear this in the city. Well, maybe when you are staying near to a kampung.
Something strange happened at night at around 2.30am. According to Rieta, a presence was around the area and she heard dogs howling. I guess many of us heard it. I was freezing and i couldn't sleep the whole night because of the lingery presence which i know of and also my nose was giving me problems. Well, i guess what led to the mysterious presence was when we were shooting a 'pontianak' film in the lavatory. Even though the film was pretty hilarious to most of us, but it is a serious problem for the villagers. Now, we are just thinking whether to proceed with the film or just leave it as it is without editing or making it into a film. In my opinion, i guess we must need the villagers consent in order to edit this as we wouldn't want to step in anyone's tail and having ourselves breathing in the air of hostilities when we were to return to the village.
Personally, i do not believe in such things as a lingery presence, but, after the experience i came across while sleeping in the rumah adat, somehow i believe that some beliefs must be respected even though you don't believe in it. Oh well, i guess this is pretty much what i've been through and seriously, it was an amazing trip and a trip to be remembered. When i depart to Australia next year, i would love to have the chance to visit the Aboriginals in Australia and again, get to experience the way of life of the Aborigines.
Well, it has been a really great experience for me and i thank Sze Ning for going through all the trouble to get us there for a visit.
I guess every single detail has been jotted down by Aaron in his blog (www.xanga.com/cyclonewipeout). Well, as i've said earlier on, it has been a great experience and i guess words wouldn't express how much i feel for the village. Just imagine living in a place where cold water is all you get when you want a bath and the rumah adat will be your only choice of accomodation. I must say that i love it there... being someone who truly adores nature, i love the sounds of insects coming out to play at night, and on early mornings, you'll hear the chickens crow as a wake up call at around 5.30 in the morning, then at 6.30 again. You'll never have the chance to hear this in the city. Well, maybe when you are staying near to a kampung.
Something strange happened at night at around 2.30am. According to Rieta, a presence was around the area and she heard dogs howling. I guess many of us heard it. I was freezing and i couldn't sleep the whole night because of the lingery presence which i know of and also my nose was giving me problems. Well, i guess what led to the mysterious presence was when we were shooting a 'pontianak' film in the lavatory. Even though the film was pretty hilarious to most of us, but it is a serious problem for the villagers. Now, we are just thinking whether to proceed with the film or just leave it as it is without editing or making it into a film. In my opinion, i guess we must need the villagers consent in order to edit this as we wouldn't want to step in anyone's tail and having ourselves breathing in the air of hostilities when we were to return to the village.
Personally, i do not believe in such things as a lingery presence, but, after the experience i came across while sleeping in the rumah adat, somehow i believe that some beliefs must be respected even though you don't believe in it. Oh well, i guess this is pretty much what i've been through and seriously, it was an amazing trip and a trip to be remembered. When i depart to Australia next year, i would love to have the chance to visit the Aboriginals in Australia and again, get to experience the way of life of the Aborigines.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Bad Day
Basically, i was having a very bad day today and truely, i don't want to talk about it. But, most definately... i want a blue sky holiday!!
Title of song: Bad Day
Artist: Daniel Powter
Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oh.. Holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Title of song: Bad Day
Artist: Daniel Powter
Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oh.. Holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Life!
I was just wondering how many of you could just blog till the break of dawn. Wondering how you guys always get the inspiration to write and update your blog frequently with a blink of an eye. I am starting to question my own abilities on whether i'm able to blog much further as i've ran out of things to say.
I'm feeling a little piss off now as i just found out that my pc does not have 'I Tunes', well, this bascially means that i am screwed... i have not started typing out the assignment for Sheila and am not very sure whether the wave file that i've saved in my disc will be able to play on her PC. If it would not budge, i guess my whole group will be screwed.
Basically i have nothing much to say and that i still have two more papers to go before i step foot into the holidays... well yeah, at is as if... i need to work. Oh well, should i or should i not be complaining. Two extremely weird nature about humans is that they complain whenever there are things to be done, and whenever there is nothing to do, they complain of bordem. Ah well, this is basically life of being a human. I wonder if animals complain to other animals of them just lazing around and waiting for their master to provide them with shelther and food. Ah well, why am i starting to crap anyways. Sorry people, no further update on my boring, yet to be explored, ... life!
I'm feeling a little piss off now as i just found out that my pc does not have 'I Tunes', well, this bascially means that i am screwed... i have not started typing out the assignment for Sheila and am not very sure whether the wave file that i've saved in my disc will be able to play on her PC. If it would not budge, i guess my whole group will be screwed.
Basically i have nothing much to say and that i still have two more papers to go before i step foot into the holidays... well yeah, at is as if... i need to work. Oh well, should i or should i not be complaining. Two extremely weird nature about humans is that they complain whenever there are things to be done, and whenever there is nothing to do, they complain of bordem. Ah well, this is basically life of being a human. I wonder if animals complain to other animals of them just lazing around and waiting for their master to provide them with shelther and food. Ah well, why am i starting to crap anyways. Sorry people, no further update on my boring, yet to be explored, ... life!